halloween ~ here in my little corner of the world, Down Under

sadly, we don't celebrate Halloween as such. Oh we might get the odd child knocking on our door in the hope of getting some lollies - but it isn't embraced here like it is in America.

But I feel the need to do something, of course I do! October 31 can be celebrated by me as the day of the dead - so I have set myself an altar up in my lounge room with photos of my grandparents and my dad, a gorgeous bunch of roses from my own garden and all night I am burning a yellow candle - in the hope that they may visit me in my dreams. I am also having a little ritual tonight, outside in the dark with candle light. I am going to write to each deceased loved one - a love letter - telling them that I miss them or in the case of my great grandmas - that I wish I had known them in this lifetime & I hope that they will guide me on my spiritual journey. And I may even ask them to make themselves known to me in my daily life.

I have candles burning all around my home and yard - and for dinner - homemade pumpkin soup (made from one of my own pumpkins), sour cream & chives and pumpkin bread

happy halloween everyone!

the stuff from True Balance

my cancer was in my sacral area - in my reproductive organs. I had pelvic radiation ~ something I believe is from the dark ages and is barbaric & now I have side effects. The emotional issues from this are coming up now & I am having a dreadfully hard time dealing with them. do I continue with the book, knowing that it is helping ? Or do I stop and push those emotions deeper down, ignoring them? I honestly don't know. All I know is I feel like a bitter old woman right now ~ blaming life for my problems AND that is definately not me, not who I am. I wasn't going to post all of this but it helps to get it out & I thought maybe, just maybe there is someone out there who has had pelvic radiation who can relate to how I am feeling. I am embarrassed by my side effects, they are not something that I want to put out into blog world. There are no support groups here either.

and this dear friends is really why I haven't been blogging - I feel like I have lost my 'joie de vivre'

I feel like I am constantly apologizing for not visiting your blogs, I feel like it is a one way friendship at the moment. I am deeply sorry xox

whoa!

oh man - true balance - This sacral chakra stuff is heavy going for me but I am plodding through - I know I am clearing lots and healing lots - so that is why I am persevering but it is surely bringing up stuff that I thought I had dealt with. my sacral chakra is really out of balance. Here I am thinking I am completely normal (ha!) NOT. I wonder if I will ever be normal? hmm I wonder what normal is and do I want to be normal?
Sophie is at last smiling and laughing - I have stepped back as I have realized this is her journey and I can still be here for her to cuddle but not to take on her pain. A hard lesson for me. Today, I did a collage for Beltane & made some beltane wreaths for my girl friends and then I went and bought myself a huge bunch of sunflowers - inspired by a bunch that Naturegirl sent me via email. I am spending most of the weekend in my garden - wanting to make myself a sacred circle. And I am going to ease into blogging - hopefully I will get to visit over the weekend - blessings, bliss & blossoms xo

healing

yesterday was an amazing day for us. I drove Sophie to school and when I got out of the car I found a white feather *a gift from the angels, I am sure, telling me they are with us and all will be ok. I know this is my heart. Then I came home and a friend called and asked me to go and have a cup of tea with her. So I did - she is a reiki master and did a healing on me - which was good as it was revealed that I have past hurts that are coming up as I grieve with Sophie. So my friend did an intense healing on my heart and gave me some heart oil which is infused with essential oils, colour therapies & essences from the angels. I am to anoint my heart chakra with it twice daily. I tell you, it has worked. The heart break hurt has gone. I am also anointing Sophie with it and it seems to be helping her. I am also giving her flower remedies to help with grief. My reiki teacher did a reiki healing on Sophie yesterday afternoon. All these things are helping our souls to heal themselves. Plus all those prayers & healing, that you, my friends are sending us - is helping - we can feel each and every one.

I did get to visit a few blogs and commented on a couple - some blogs I haven't been able to access, not sure why but Pea if you are reading this - I have tried so hard to come by and comment but my computer freezes each time I try. I will keep trying, maybe it is blogger.
oh and Joe had his appointment on Monday - the specialist is confident all is ok but wants to do a colonoscopy in November (lucky joe!) - I am not worried, I am sure all is ok

feeling better last night, I played with Violettes long necked lady. It was fun & soothing. sometimes, I think I need to mindless stuff - like colouring in

over the edge

I think this situation with Sophie and the boyfriend was the straw that has broken the camels back. I think it has tipped me over the edge. I am not coping. Not coping at all. I am trying but it is not working. I know this is not about me - but in a way it is. I am taking her pain on, to the point of my heart feels that it has been broken. I have a terrible ache in the middle of my breast bone and I feel a heavy sadness that I can't shake. I have two packages here that I received yesterday that I have no interest in opening. My garden hasn't been looked at all week. I can't even blog. I have lost interest in my home and for those who know me well - that is a big sign that something is wrong. I am not functioning. I walk past Sophie and see her sad and ask how she is then I feel her pain. Physically. I know it is advisable to shut my chakras down but I can't. I physically can't. Not that I don't want to, I just cannot do it, it doesn't happen. I have lost touch with my angels. I am a reiki master - you can use reiki to heal yourself. Right now, I am incapable of healing myself, or anyone else for that matter. I feel like crying all the time. I need help. Not pills & chemicals but spiritual help. Healing help. So today, I am finding someone.

I am going to have to cancel all the Christmas swaps - I just don't have the interest to organize them right now. I am also taking a break from posting here - not can't even say for how long - I am not even sure if I will get to visit any of my friends blogs. I feel so bad - I don't want to fall out of the loop, to fall away from the great circle of friends here. I am scared. I am also 48 and feel like an absolute idiot for not being able to cope with this. For heaven's sakes - this is but a hiccough - compared to other things that have happended in my life.

TRUE BALANCE ~ warning! ~ my base chakra stuff

oh lord! my base chakra is definately unbalanced or not spinning as it should. And it is no wonder that it is totally out of whack, - I do alot of work on my chakras - but I didn't realize that my childhood stuff was connected to this chakra. I need to work on that.
I could go into major detail here, but I won't. It is too hard for me. And like I said, I don't want my blog to become a Mummy dearest because in the main, my childhood was wonderful. We had great family picnics & all the other normal family stuff.

and I wouldn't change a thing, as it has all made me who I am today.
But let's just say - that as a little girl, I had a great fear of being alone, being abandoned. My family foundation wasn't strong. Don't get me wrong - as I said, my childhood was mostly wonderful and so were my parents - they did the best they knew how. But they use to leave us alone, often. at night. I can remember from about age 10 - I would sit out on the front step and cry til they came home. To this day, I do not know what I was afraid of - but as soon as it got dark - I would have to go outside. Past life stuff? who knows.
My dad also drank alot and in my early childhood he was very violent - not towards us kids, but to mum. In his later life he became a tea-totaller and was so sad for what he put us through when we were young.
I also found out that the base chakra governs the immune system and that has made me wonder if my immune system was depleted due to the chakra being unbalanced - my cancer was an immune deficient cancer. If you worry alot about life - your base chakra becomes unbalanced. And I wonder if my strong desire to find 'my roots' of my ancestors is because my base chakra is unbalanced. Lots of thoughts - I write all in my journal, kind of purging my soul.
However blogging has helped me to become alot more grounded & balanced and I think I am finally getting the base chakra to how it is meant to be.
Sometimes if I feel unbalanced - then I go outside and plunge my hands into the dirt or othertimes I just carry a grounding stone around with me. Even wearing a pair of red undies can help! And I am going to start having a pedicure and have my toe nails painted red!
crystals, herbs and essential oils that correspond to the base chakra can help to balance as well :
Gemstones: Agate, Bloodstone, Hematite, Red Coral, Red Garnet, Ruby, Black Obsidian, Black Tourmaline and Black Tourmaline in Clear Quartz
Herbs: Cedar, Clove, Pepper, Vetiver
Essential Oils: Myrrh, Patchouli, Rosewood, Thyme, Vetiver

gratitude on Sunday

each of YOU - I am grateful for. The emails, the support, the love & care and the spells! I am grateful that I am able to call each of you my friend. even though we have never met - I feel a heart connection with each of you. It is like you understand my very soul. thankyou, I am humbled

[ so this weekend, we have done alot of talking, crying & snuggling. We have been doing spells & saging & journalling - Sophie seems stronger - we have had a wonderful network of huggers. I have collaged and hopefully later today, I will take a photo to share the collage with you]

{tomorrow - beware, I unveil my base chakra post}

one year has passed

it is one year since my gorgeous daughter got married ! one whole year has passed since the wedding! geez, blink and you miss a year.

Happy anniversary - Louisa & Garth

taking time out

lord what is happening right now? Does anyone else feel an oppresive heaviness in the world? Or is it just me and what is going on with Sophie? Seems we have got to the bottom of the problem with my gal - and the idiot she has been 'in love' with for 2 years. He has apparently been seeing other girls as well as being a steady boyfriend to Sophie. It has been a regular thing, not just one of. Now in my book - being faithfull is pretty damn important, even when you are only 17 - if you want to play the field, then play it, but you cannot have your cake and eat it too. The reason she said nothing about it to me or did nothing about it? She thought she wouldn't get anyone else. Can you believe that? Have I failed? I was certainly taken in by this jerk - he had me eating from the palm of my hand. I am absolutely exhausted right now. We need to rebuild - so I am taking a few days away from blogging - I was going to try to blog through it but all that happens is that I feel 'guilty' when I don't visit your blogs & comment (yes, there is THAT guilt word again) - so I am running away - just for the weekend - I am running to my life - to garden, to clean & smudge my house, to rid our selves of all the crap. We are going to go through Sophie's stuff and smash and rip all the things that remind her of 'the jerk' . we are going to do spells and cleansing rituals. we are going to eat icecream and cry. We are going to say nasty things about the jerk and make ourselves laugh. and we are going to heal.

love you all lots xoxo

ps thankyou to each of you for your friendship, your emails and your support xo ~ what would I do without my gal pals?

miss*R ~ angel intuitive

so today is Thursday and this is another kind of down in the doldrums post - hope it will be my last. Yesterday, I had to have another trip to the dentist as a filling on the other side of my mouth fell out - another hour in the chair with my mouth open and two needles did not make me a happy gal. I am finding life very draining this week, I can't create a thing and I cannot find the strength to pull myself out of it. so much for my angel intuitiveness. I am beginning to think that God dumps us here and says - 'see you in a lifetime - try your hardest, you are on your OWN!' I do hope I am wrong.

so :

yes, I am now a certified angel intuitive - Doreen Virute accredited. I now have letters after my name and a certificate to prove it. woopee doo.
How do I post about this without sounding ungrateful or negative? I hope I can - so here goes.
I am glad that I went - I want to eventually hold angel & faery worshops here at my home and with the Doreen Virtue name after it - I am sure I will be successful. I want to bring angels and faeries to lots of people, to help them find that they do indeed have help in other realms - it is all there for the asking. So now I can officially do that. without any expensive cost to anyone. that to me is what it is all about.
The place where I stayed was wonderful - BUT I feel that there were just way too many people at the workshop. 800 people is alot. 3 days with 800 people does not do my aura alot of good, nor does it do my chakras alot of good. I did learn quite abit and I did get a message from my angels to 'take what I need' from the course. At times, like I said I thought I was caught up in a religious cult - we had to stand and sing & clap our hands and yell out affirmations - which does not sit well with me at all. But I did it and just rolled my eyes to myself. I chuckled to myself. I am sure that Doreen Virtue is sincere but she is surrounded by minders and there is alot of hype and it is all very commercial. Quite often during the course - she would do advertising for her CD's and books. which annoyed the hell out of me. There were noi notes given out, we were told that the information is in such & such a book and it is available at the book store.

I even lined up to have a book signed and she didn't even look at me - she was talking to one of her minders and just signed her name without looking at me or the book. Left a bad taste in my mouth.
so that is it in a nutshell - I am sad to say.

just today

first of all - thanks for the support - I just don't know what I would do without all the words of wisdom from each of you. Right now, I just feel like kicking this boy in the shins, really hard. But of course I won't. I have written it all in my angel book and have handed it over to them. So mote it be.

I am a very brave girl - I had my first crown put on my teeth yesterday and I didn't cry!

Today I am playing catchup - I have so much washing to do & blogs to catch up on. since I have been away & snuggling with Sophie I haven't done either - so bare with me, I will get by to see what my friends have been up to. I am also wording my post on the Doreen Virutue weekend - may post that tomorrow. And I have decided that I am going to call Friday - Faery Friday. Each Friday, I will post something about faery folk ~ join in if you wish!

Oh and today, I need to go to our food co-op to buy my first lot of dried fruit for my Christmas cake - I soak it for a week in brandy. I may just drink the brandy instead. It is some ridiculously small amount of time til Christmas.

Thinking positive thoughts today !

the hurts of life

my gorgeous daughter, Sophie is 17 and has had a boyfriend for just under two years. I feel in my heart that they are twin flames and are meant to be together. He is a lovely boy but they are 'having a break' at the moment. She is heartbroken - adolescent love is one of the hardest things to deal with. It isn't puppy love - it is real. He tells her he still loves her but now there is another girl who is pursuing him with all her feminine wiles. My daughter's heart is breaking.

Her mother's heart is breaking also - I don't know what to do - we have done rituals and ceremonies. We are snuggling and I tell her how silly boys can be sometimes. And that she has to be strong. I have asked the angels and faeries but I know in the end - it is all in the lap of the Gods and what will be, will be. I know she is young and we all go through things like this but I want to stop her hurt, to make it all better, to take her pain way - to tell her it is going to be ok.

I know that all this is a learning journey and things like this make us who we will be tomorrow. I know that there is always something better in the future. But knowing this does not make it any easier - it does not take our pain away.

If anyone has any suggestions or rituals or spells that we can do - to make it a little easier - please tell us - and I ask each of you to just keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

God, give me strength

yes, I am home. I am feeling quite drained and not wanting to post about my weekend til I sort through all my head stuff.

Let's just say that I don't do crowds very well & at times I felt like I was caught up in some kind of religious cult.

My base chakra is out of whack again - ha!

Off to bed for me & tomorrow I have my first lot of dentistry work being done - add to that an upset teenage daughter and . . . well you get my drift I am sure. No Gratitude on Sunday, no Monday musings and no MMM - what is the world coming to ?

I won't be away too long - promise xo

base chakra ~ earth mother poem

as you know I am working on my base chakra right now. I found this awhile back and it is so earthy, makes me dream of the goddess and certainly touches my soul.

Earth Prayer

Earth Mother, star mother,
You who are called by
a thousand names,
May all remember
we are cells in your body
and dance together
You are the grain
and the loaf
That sustains us each day,
And as you are patient
with our struggles to learn
So shall we be patient
with ourselves and each other.
We are radiant light
and sacred dark
-the balance-
You are the embrace that heartens
And the freedom beyond fear.
Within you we are born
we grow, live, and die-
You bring us around the circle
to rebirth,
Within us you dance
Forever

~Starhawk ~

tomorrow

I fly to Queensland - to Coolum. I am booked in for a 3 day workshop with Doreen Virtue. I am sooooooo excited. I cannot wait!

this is where I am staying Hyatt Regency.

The seminar is all about angels and at the end of it - I will be a registered angel intuitive. Which means alot to me, as next year, I want to hold angel workshops at my home. On Saturday night there will be a sacred ceremony - that should be fun!

I have my journal, my pencils & pens, my True Balance book, my favourite crystals and some candles - all packed. Plus my clothes of course!

so dear gals - I won't be around over the weekend.

I may post tomorrow, before I go, I have a great poem from my journal that I want to share.

blessings & bliss ~ R xo

TRUE BALANCE

this week I started the book - True Balance - and I am not sure how much to reveal of myself. Do I bare all? Or keep it sweet? Well, I guess this blog is all of me - and it is kind of therapy for me to find out who I am. although I don't want this blog to turn into a mommy dearest, bare all type thing - I am not Brittany Spears *hee, hee. so it looks like I will pretty much post as much or as little as I want - be warned ~
I was taken with the way Lisa from groggy froggy put it:

"DANGER...WARNING...DANGER ....my next post will probably be about the third chapter of True Balance, so for those of you who are offended that I'm reading and discussing it, there's your warning. I'll put it in the title so you don't have to even read the first sentence."

I think I will take a lead from Lisa - and put it in my heading whenever I post.
*so today I start on the base chakra and work through the chapter for approx 2 weeks. I am liking it so far - it is helpings me to journal . I read a little each night and make notes, then during the next day - I copy it down into my journal, embellishing as I go.
So over the next few months I will share bits of this chakra journey - not sure what will come of it!

TRUE BALANCE

mixed media memoirs

this week the subject is my soul is speaking . Well , my soul has been speaking since the day I made my way into this world. Most times, I have ignored it. I thought it was voices in my head, whisperings of voices that I cannot quite grasp. So I went through life, ignoring the voices and feeling quite lost. My journal is full of these mutterings, but just these past few months, I have been taking more notice of these voices. They are wise. The voices know all, they know my past and my future. It is my soul, I am sure, speaking to me and it is getting louder. And funny thing is, when I listen - I learn and I feel so much more 'together'

I love my soul!

as you can see, at the moment, I am being inspired by Teesha Moore

fizzled out

I feel like all my oomph has gone. Not sure where, but to be truthful - my mum tires me out. I love her, of course I do! but she drains me, she brings out the worst in me and I become someone I don't like very much. today, I have felt very washed out and have been trying to re-coup. I love listening to my mum and hearing of her childhood and I love pampering her and making her feel special. But sometimes she berates me, makes me feel like I am not good enough and nothing I do is right. It is like I am a child again. Then she goes home and I feel guilty. I know it is a mother and daughter thing but knowing that, does not make it any easier. And please God, let me be different when I get older.

monday musings

The moment you are following somebody else, you are no longer following the truth

gratitude on Sunday

well this week I must say that I am grateful that I am finally discovering where my oddities come from. I am discovering my roots. It is like I have finally found out who I am - well kind of, guess I will never really know.
Thanks to my dear friend Daisy Lupin and my mum, I have learnt that my great-nana was most probably born in Cornwall - which means that I have Cornish blood flowing through my veins, I am from good old Cornish stock. which explains why I am so drawn to 'witchcraft' - were my ancestors, witches? I am sure they were!

Christmas swap extravaganza!

only 79 days til Christmas ! and with that

I am going to open the swaps

- no rush but if I put it out there it will give you all time to think about it.

Each Saturday, I will re-post this with an update.

so first we have:

* * *

the pamper the christmas shopper swap. There will be a limit of $15 to spend and a limit on the weight of the parcel to 750g - this is to make sure that the postage is not astronomically high and the cost limit is to give you well, a limit to spend. I know what it is like - you buy, buy, buy and spend way too much when it is not necessary.

all I ask is to include something to pamper that Christmas goddess that you are & make the gift Christmassy. You can have a choice of international partner or one in your own country.

* * *

second is a yule art doll/faery/goddess swap - for our Christmas tree - there will be a size limit of no larger than 8" and no smaller than 4". You will have one partner so you will only have to make one doll.

* * *

and third - the yule themed mixed media collage - one partner only and the size will be 6" X 6"

* * *

these will all be international swaps, except for the pamper swap - otherwise it makes it too hard to organize and at Christmas time - I become more demented than usual
- oh! and these may change a little depending on what people want - they will be tweaked as we go.

please think about joining!
~ anyone interested? just email me!

pamper the Christmas shopper swap: Ninnie * ME(miss*R) * Peggy * maggii * Pea * Daisy * Connie * Melba * Laurie * Pea *

Christmas Goddess Doll swap: ME(miss*R) * Hilary * Gemma * Kim

MM collage: ME(miss*R) * Hilary *

an art dollie challenge for October

there are many kindred souls out there in blog land - some call themselves witches, others think of themselves more as goddesses. I challenging each of you to make yourself a Halloween goddess art dollie - me ?

I will make two - one for Beltane and one for Halloween and they will sit side by side on my wreath that I will make to put on my front door. This is not a swap - just a challenge to make something of yourself, for yourself. any one interested?

this is my Beltane dolly - I made her yesterday - she is a maypole daisy. It is difficult to swap the season/sabbats but I feel it is a must - and I guess I will eventually write my own wheel of the year. I am going to make Halloween dolly to go along side of ms*Beltane - just because I can!

they say it's your birthday

26 years ago - I gave birth to an absolutely gorgeous gal ~ fell in love the moment I laid eyes on her ! She was the most beautiful little girl - very loving, cuddly, adorable. I am sure you get the picture. One day about 16 years later, she woke up and I swear she was the wicked witch. Maybe it was the hormones. I don't know but she made me cry, she made my life hell, she gave me a run for my money. I dreaded each day - I didn't think I could go on. I had a haunted look in my eyes. But as life does, time goes on and they wake again from the nightmare. Thank God. She turned into a beautiful woman. A kind , loving sensitive soul. I think I did a good job on this one!


Happy birthday Louisa May

playing life or playing make believe?

sometimes I think I am lunatic. I go about my days - planning what I can do for different celebrations of the year - take for instance Beltane which is coming up for us down here in the Southern Hemisphere, on October 31 ~ I am still struggling with that - but have decided to follow the wheel of the year as it should be down here - opposite to the north - but so that I can celebrate Halloween & Christmas too, I will put my own slant on it . I think half of my scattered problem is that I have been trying to live the seasons back to front. As much as my soul harks from the Northern Hemisphere, I figure if God put me down here, there must be a good reason for it - so I may as well live where I am and follow the seasons as they occur - to stop fighting it - anyhow, as usual I sidetrack.
A suggestion for Beltane is to make a basket of goodies up for a needy family - so I am thinking of making some soup for a friend who has just 'inherited' 3 grandchildren under the age of 7. She is 55 and has them til they are 16, at least. sheesh. so a pot of pumpkin soup, some bread rolls & a herb salad......... then I start thinking about setting an altar up for Beltane and making a door wreath. Then I start wondering if I am the only person who does things like this, worrying about altars and seasons and candles and magick - then I start feeling like a little girl playing house * and then I think I am a lunatic because what 48, nearly 49 year old woman does things like this?
I tend to live in make believe land alot of the time -oh, I do the earthly stuff - the cooking and the cleaning etc - but as I do it - it is like I am playing house. Playing life.

flitting in and flitting out

my mum is here til Sunday - she talks alot. So I won't be on the computer as much as usual. Today she spent the day telling me about my great nan - My pa's mother. I knew I was from a family of witches, I just knew it!! Laura Tregilgas (my great grandma) was born in Cornwall (yes, Daisy!!!) and they moved to Australia when my pa was 5. She had a huge herb garden, believed in faeries and had some living in the bottom of her garden. She had an old persimmon tree (so do I - coincidence?) She had bowls of herbs everywhere and lots of candles. She made her own remedies. She didn't go to church and didn't have much time for man made religion. My mum was only little when she died and has vague memories but from what she can remember, she believes that she may have been a green witch. ahh it all makes sense.

so at the moment I am trying to get by your blogs - one by one in between chatting - but if I don't make it - well you know why. Oh it is going to be a fun weekend for sure - my mum doesn't know Joe has a Harley and shhhh we aren't telling her. Love her but she is a bit of a doomsdayer.

from the pages of my journal

I can see a goddess doll inspired by this ~ anyone?

A Blessing From Nature

A kiss from the sunlight, a touch of the breeze
The bright moon at night,
To light your way,
Flowers for the inner child,
And to add colour to your life,
Seed from the trees and plants,
Strung on a chain,
To adorn your neck and breast,
Shells for your feet and toes, to celebrate the seas,
And the waters of life,
The colour pink is for love, to spread across the world,
And to remember you are WOMEN!
A worthy daughter of Mother earth.
~ anonymous ~

blessings & bliss

xoxo

thanks everyone ! Joe has an appointment on October 23!

we called the specialist and told him the circumstances and he said he would rather see Joe sooner rather than later.

I just don't know what I would do if anything ever happened to him.

I feel much more settled now and when the panic sets in, I breathe and exhale, breathe and exhale

I also think of each of you out there ~ praying for us and keeping us in your hearts and breathing along with me.

last night and this morning

thankyou to each of you who took the time to email me or leave a comment. I will eventually get around to each of you to thankyou.
I know I was panicking & I know that whenever life throws things at me - I bat like hell. I know that only one out of 10 is bowel cancer. I know that even if it was - most survive. It is the waiting that I cannot cope with - been there and done that and I hate it. I am one who wants things done yesterday & I get frustrated with waiting. Patience is obviously one of the lessons I need to learn in this life.
after I posted I decided to do a collage - I seem to need to create things when something happens in my life - either cooking or sewing - gee, when I went through my divorce, I made a queen sized bed quilt - last night was one of those times. I collaged a face - I felt blue, so I painted all blue - then went to bed. I woke this morning to many hugs and lots of support & prayers and I felt so much better - I wasn't alone ~ so I finished my little bit of art :

I am scared

my sister in law has cancer. bowel & liver cancer. And a few months ago we were told that it 'could' be a familial cancer - which is supposed to mean it can run in families. However, this is the first time that it has appeared in the family, far as we know. So my darling guy has had a few tests and last Thursday he was told that they had found 'something' - what the hell does that mean? He only told me tonight as he didn't want me to worry all weekend. Don't worry says the doctor - in most cases it is nothing but to be on the safe side - he has to see a specialist BUT not until December. I will be ringing them first thing in the morning to get him in sooner ! ! I am scared witless - my mind keeps running with the 'what if' crap. Then I hyperventilate, then I need to calm myself down, then I cry. Thank goodness he is out at a meeting. I am scared that it will be 'something' - there it is said. Yes I am scared it will be cancer. I can't concentrate on a thing - I have been trying to visit blogs and comment but I have no interest. I have been praying and putting requests in my angel journal but a little part of me keeps thinking nothing I do will change what will be & I hate being out of control. Deep down, I know I am panicking for nothing and it will most likely be ok.

I need hugs

mixed media memoirs

this week - I AM ORANGE - I don't particularly like the colour orange so I thought it would be difficult, but I have had fun with this - I related it to the sacral chakra - the one I have trouble with mostly - it is connected to creativity & sexuality, emotions of anger, resentment and frustration
crystals for the sacral chakra include - carnelian, orange jasper, orange calcite
essential oils of ylang-ylang, jasmine, patchouli, sandalwood and cinnamon.
Wear orange when you need self confidence or courage, wear it when you experience insecurity or self doubts.

I played with this collage - using techniques that I hadn't used before - I used beeswax and modge podge and had a try at drawing - I am quite happy with it, actually make that very happy with it - does that mean my sacral chakra is balanced today?

the words around the outside are affirmations - 'to feel my fears, to see, to know and to understand what these fears are about. I experience them in a loving peaceful, painless and joyous way.'

two things - glitter swap ADVANCE NOTICE & Halloween

two little things that I have decided to do:

1) ~ I am going to celebrate Halloween, damn it! ~ it isn't celebrated here in Australia ~ and I know it isn't fall here ~ but surely I can put my own twist on it? Thinking cap on & any ideas most gratefully accepted. I tell you, I live in the southern hemisphere but my soul belongs up in the northern one for sure - how can I celebrate Beltane in October when it isn't Beltane in my soul?

2) ~ advance notice (or warning) ~ the beginning of next year ~ I will be hosting a glitter art supplies swap ~ no particulars yet but if you have one glimmering of interest * (should that be glittering of interest?), email me and I will put your name down on an email list and will notify you when I open the swap ~ no obligations of course! I know it is ages away but just wanted to get it out of my head ~ so consider yourself warned

a bit of this and a bit of that

this weekend is a long weekend here in Australia - not sure why - gee, how patriotic am I ? I think it is Labour day - and that does not mean that they have a public holiday for women who have gone through labour, I am sure.
however - I have been BY MYSELF all weekend - Joe has gone riding & Sophie has gone to the beach. I have been a free woman, to do what I like, when I like. The house stays tidy - I cannot believe it - I go out into the garden and come back in for lunch and the house is still tidy! I make a sandwich - put my plate and cup in the dishwasher - and when I come back - there are no glasses or cups on the bench. ahhhh bliss - but I do miss them.
On Saturday - I played pick up sticks - picking up all the branches and sticks that were strewn over my garden from the windstorm during the week. I planned my moon-garden and I yelled at my chickens. You see one has become a cannibal - it is eating my eggs. I know which one it is but I don't know what to do about it.
Yesterday - I planted zucchini and watered my garden. I also played collage - I wanted to make a collage for Spring Equinox to put into my BOS. I actually like it - I didn't rush - I did a little, went away, came back, played some more til I got it how I wanted and yes, I do like it.

I do my collages in an art book with spiral pages, however they tend to curl if I use glue so I need to find something else.
so Monday today - Joe will be home this afternoon & I am going to go out into the garden shortly and pull my forget me nots out - gawd, I know why they are called forget me nots. I think I posted once about them on daily parcels - must take a look later.
I have also started my mixed media memoir for this week * ORANGE * am having fun with it although orange is not a favourite colour of mine

monday musings

Allow things in your life which make your heart sing, feed your soul or nourish you on a daily basis

gratitude on sunday

sometimes I read something on the internet that touches my very soul - my heart skips a beat and I have to re-read & re-read. It makes me gasp when I first read it and I want to put my head through the computer screen and scream - yes! I love this - it makes my soul sing .thankyou! During the week I visited Tinker and this piece she wrote on September pleasures touched deep down in my soul, touching my very essence. and the art work that goes with it - to die for! tinkers pleasures

St Therese ~ pray for us

my altar today, in honour of St Therese, the little flower

her feast day ~ October 1

let me tell you about St Therese, the little flower. Not really about her - you can find that anywhere on the net but about her in my life. When I converted to Catholicism about 16 years ago, we had to pick a Saint for our confirmation patron - I picked St Therese because it was the most catholic name I could think of besides Mary. I then realized that she was with me - to help and guide and yes to pray for me when I asked for her help. . .

my altar in my foyer - the dead leaves are from Palm Sunday and the teenie tiny stones in the shells are gifts from the faeries in my garden

My dad bought me my first statue of her on the day I was confirmed into the Catholic faith and so started my collection. Then I started to find statues and pictures of her in antique shops - I became obsessive (yes, I did, I know you can't believe that!). . . so I skipped through life - asking St Therese for tiny little things until one day I needed her help~ big time - I found out I had cancer - so I petitioned her, I begged her and I said novenas.

the day came that I had to go into hospital to have my last course of radiation where I was locked into a lead lined room while the radiation hit me for 17 hours. I was told that I could take things into the room to make it mine, to make me feel at home (ha!) so I took this picture above and hung it opposite my bed - I looked at the picture often during those 17 hours and each time I felt I could not do it any longer - I felt St Therese's prescence - urging me , giving me strength, telling me I could do this!
I love her!
a few weeks later - her relics did a tour of the world and I decided to go - we lined up for a few hours at the church where they were, people filing past her casket,leaving flowers, praying, crying. It was an amazing experience & I feel very blessed that I had the chance. My turn came and I knelt down and put my hands on her casket and said thankyou. I could not move - it was like an electric current was going up from her casket through my hands and completely surrounding me with pure love - I know I was healed that day.
so ~ St. Therese - pray for us - we know our prayers are answered when you do.

St. Therese, the Little Flower,

please pick me a rose from the heavenly garden and send it to me with a message of love;
ask God to grant me the favor I thee implore
and tell Him I will love Him each day more and more.
Amen.

I never take my St Therese medal off !

And she sends me roses quite often, in obscure places - so I KNOW she is there for me