too much time on my hands?
ok, I wasn't going to post this but it has been bothering me & I need to get it out. or else it will eat away at me until I make myself sick - spit it out girl!
is there such a thing as blogging etiquette? what does one do about visitors and comments........ I have lots & lots of blogs I visit - I call them my favourites. yep. and I have many people who I have a great blogging friendship with - commenting on each others blogs - back and forth. but there are some that I thought I had a friendship with * commenting on each others blogs, every now & then but something happens and I comment, and I comment but one day realize that some aren't visiting anymore. so I go and comment and still no return comment. I don't think I have 'done' anything to offend them - I thought I was a good friend, so what happened? why does this happen? what do I/you do about this? oh, I have emailed some before and tried to work it out but then I feel like a real idiot, asking someone if I did anything to offend them. maybe they lost me in my move.......I drive myself nuts. am I one of these people who 'love' too much & expect too much? or maybe it is menopausal margaret or the moon. or maybe I worry too much *of course I do! i know that! problem is, I want to be liked by everyone in my little blogging circle & mostly I am ((thankyou)) but I worry about those others who I have lost along the way, I want to be one big happy blogging family - guess that is a little naive & simple, life isn't really like that in the real world is it? but I find blogging can be so fickle, hurtful and downright cliquey sometimes. and it just hurts my heart - do I stop caring?
like I read on a blog somewhere: THESE ARE MY THOUGHTS AS I CLICK 'PUBLISH POST'
is there such a thing as blogging etiquette? what does one do about visitors and comments........ I have lots & lots of blogs I visit - I call them my favourites. yep. and I have many people who I have a great blogging friendship with - commenting on each others blogs - back and forth. but there are some that I thought I had a friendship with * commenting on each others blogs, every now & then but something happens and I comment, and I comment but one day realize that some aren't visiting anymore. so I go and comment and still no return comment. I don't think I have 'done' anything to offend them - I thought I was a good friend, so what happened? why does this happen? what do I/you do about this? oh, I have emailed some before and tried to work it out but then I feel like a real idiot, asking someone if I did anything to offend them. maybe they lost me in my move.......I drive myself nuts. am I one of these people who 'love' too much & expect too much? or maybe it is menopausal margaret or the moon. or maybe I worry too much *of course I do! i know that! problem is, I want to be liked by everyone in my little blogging circle & mostly I am ((thankyou)) but I worry about those others who I have lost along the way, I want to be one big happy blogging family - guess that is a little naive & simple, life isn't really like that in the real world is it? but I find blogging can be so fickle, hurtful and downright cliquey sometimes. and it just hurts my heart - do I stop caring?
like I read on a blog somewhere: THESE ARE MY THOUGHTS AS I CLICK 'PUBLISH POST'
posted by Miss Robyn | 3:48 pm
22 Comments:
Robyn, its easy to say don't worry but its hard not to. I am very blessed to have such great friends visit my blog. I have lost some that I thought were very dear friends. I worried that I had done or said something to offend them till I realized I was so busy worrying about what I didn't have and not enjoying the blessings of the friends I did have. I still pop in time to time of those that don't visit anymore. Sometimes I leave them a comment and sometimes I don't. I miss their visits but thats their choice. At least they know I still visit and care no matter what they do. You have gained some new wonderful friends at your new blog home. If you hadn't have lost a few old ones along the way maybe you wouldn't have these new wonderful ones. Things happen for a reason... just enjoy and try not to worry too much. Hugs and glad you got Miss Diva's package!
Robyn,
for someone very new like I am it is hard to get back to the many blogs I enjoy and I always feel upset that I have not as I do want to find friendships and associations with all the lovely boggers out there that I feel close to. I also know though that people have busy lives and rush around for a few days and before you know it it is the end of the week and they have not been around their blogger friends to visit.
I often drop into yours, smile at your comments agree with you and then hubby comes home for dinner and off I go!.........and then forget to get back to say hello or to tell you I so very much enjoyed this and that. but Know I am always here newy! I know, but honest and sincere as well..........your friend Lee-ann
I think you're worrying too much! I have a list of many favourites and I try to get around to all of them at least every other day, if I'm not traveling. But it's not always possible, because too many things are going on that take up too much time. For instance, I used to respond to every comment with a personal note. Now it's just not possible to respond to each one - if I did, I'd never get any writing done, my apartment would be in a constant state of disarray and I'd practically never leave the computer. I think for most of us, it's more a matter constraints than being annoyed about something. So don't worry! :) xo
Pardon me, that last line was supposed to be "more a matter of time constraints" - says she, too rushed when leaving her comment! :)
Goodness, Miss R.....don't be worrying! You sound like Miz Scarlett! Now, life is way too short to be worrying it away. I know you have many, many visitors to your blog and I too, don't leave a comment every time. I just enjoy my time here and appreciate the fact that your writings are interesting enough to keep me returning. So don't stop! Think of all the little quiet mice that run in and out of here and you never knew it......except that we keep coming back and leave you a little note now and then. Gosh, you're my only "down under" friend! ;) And I truly appreciate you visiting my blog, but please, please don't feel like you have to leave a comment every single time. I'll know you've been there....I can see the little mouse tracks! LOL BTW, Ernesto is a hurricane. (((((Hugs for you girl)))))
Robyn dear don't worry I think it is just a matter of time. Our blogging community is getting bigger and bigger and I for one just can't find the time to answer every post on every blog I like, but I try to leave a note or comment from time to time to let you know I'm here. Don't worry be happy! Hugs xox
P.S. I wonder why you wasn't able to acces my blog for a few days but I'm glad you can do it again now :D
robyn - I think EXACTLY the same as you only you DO have a lot of visitors, and on my blog days go by without a comment. That make s me think..oh dear I must be such a bore that no one even stops by anymore.....so we all get those feelings....dont worry about it....I'm glad you did write about it though....you have voiced some of MY concers too in this post.
having said that...hwo do we overcome these things/feelings?
Oh miss*R, I know what you are going through. I think it is just like you said on my blog the other day, we are just very sensitive and want everyone to like us.
It's hard I know but I like what Peggy said about enjoying what we have and not worrying about what we don't. Not her exact words but that's what I got from it.
I visit here nearly everyday and usually more than once a day but I don't always comment. Sometimes I just don't know what to say and others the kids are calling for me and I just don't have time.
Never stop caring!! Then you won't be being you anymore and we love you!
When people read a lot of blogs, sometimes it's hard to comment on all of them or to even remember which ones you've commented on. I have even gone back to see if someone responded to my comment only to find that I had not left one. lol
Always remember that some of us out here are as weird as you sometimes think you are. lol I just love ya and I always look forward to your next post.
It's interesting, there seem to be natural blog circles, where the same people tend to show up in the comments of common blogs....two of my "blog circles" have only you in common. I think that's so cool.
Sometimes I worry about becoming too "friendly" too quickly with folks and wonder why it is sometimes so easy to do, but I think it's because people like you who open your hearts to us every day. We do know you. You make yourself vulnerable to us and you support us when we feel vulnerable and isn't that friendship?
It is entirely possible that some folks lost you during your move, but I'm sure they'll "hunt you down" like I did. lol
Comments are so important to bloggers. I've written about it so many times. It's frustrating to put yourself out there and then get no response. But I keep doing it every day hoping that sooner or later I'll have so many comments that I won't be able to read them all!! Wishful thinking!! We can't make people like us no matter what we do. So relax and enjoy your blog and the people who do comment. Maybe the others aren't your kind of people anyway. Or maybe they're just busy, sick, out of town, etc. Life happens.
Dearest Miss*R*....I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE your blog....I visit often. Don't always comment
though. However I do feel a connection to you. What I try to do on my blog is be true to me....if it touches others that is wonderful, if not then at least I'm good with myself. You strike me as someone who is true to yourself....don't ever stop caring. It allows you to post honestly., which is why I LOVE your blog. I wish I could share inner feelings as easily as you do.
Don't worry about it Robyn, I think everyone has had "friends" that used to visit all the time and then they just taper off for whatever reason. Just don't let it bug you, I know that is hard for you to do because you are such a loving and caring person!!
Dear Robyn, I visit your blog as often as I can but dont always comment. The same applies to all my other favourites. Just because we dont comment doesnt mean we dont like you or care about you. On the contrary ! if I commented on every one of my faves I would never get off the computer!! I have many obligations to my family and my "outside" hobbies and friends.There just isnt enough hours in a day. We have had a lot of sickness this Winter and I havent even had time to post on my own blog for almost two months. Please feel happy that people visit even if they dont leave comments. If they didnt like you they wouldnt come back ! Your glass is half full not half empty !! Stop worrying my friend ! Hugs
I also think people are drawn to certain blogs because of a shared hobby or interest not necessarily because they are being cliquey.
my dear Miss Robyn...it breaks my heart that this has affected you so. I am new to blogging and like any human being got so excited when I got my first comment. But it's not why I do it, I think it's a way to free your mind of whatever is on it...and if others are touched, affected, moved, laughing or whatever the emotion by it, all the better. I try to read as many as I can (that time allows w/o chained to the laptop...and also try to comment when I can as well) This isn't to say I don't LOVE comments, I do, and feel badly I don't comment back to the comments but then I'd really never leave the computer. This forum has allowed us all to meet so many extraordinary people, we wouldn't otherwise meet. Don't take any of this to heart my new Aussie friend, take pleasure however many, or whoever, leaves a comment...and pleasure in knowing you may have had lots more visitors who take the time to get to know you, just do it silently some times. I, for one, am glad we have already connected. (sorry this got so long)
Hi Robyn,
I have visited your blog on numerous occasions and haven't left any comments.I don't usually leave comments.The reasons simply are summer, lack of words, always in a rush ,busy or my kids take over the computer but I do enjoy visiting your blog.
I simply created my blog to share my vintage finds and to indulge in my writing as well as show what creations I've conjured.I must admit though that things here at home have been less then ideal for creativity to florish when my mind has been preoccupied with worries of employment,health and moving which we still haven't done and still don't know if and when we will, so that in it's self takes the fun out of blogging.I would like to change some of the format of my blog but again time is of the essence.Hopefully it will come in time.I too worry too much and the best thing to do is enjoy creating your blog, enjoy the comments you get,and even if you don't see the comments there are people like me out there that read your blog silently.I'll try to post more often in the future but even belonging to Flickr is another place that I don't leave comments but do collect all the beautiful pics and appreciate the talent thats out there.There are many variables to why comments aren't left and the fardest reason would be dislike so keep blogging Robyn,you have more friends then you think!
Annabelle
OK, I'll try again! This will be my 9th try to comment here, no kidding! How many times do you have to type in the silly code letters? I've been cheating on everyone by using bloglines, and I think I shall stop my subscription. It's been too easy to get my reading done on one page and then get back to work -- the whole reason I started blogging was to build this lovely circle of friendship, and now I've gone and neglected it. From now on I will only visit the blogs directly! I promise! (Well, unless blogger continues to act up on me... what is going on?!?!?)
Oh Robyn...don't stop caring...that is what makes you the sweet and lovely person you are! There are good words of wisdom from other bloggers here...my excuse for not commnenting sometimes is blogger being fickle and I want to be positive and upbeat and if I am having a crud day I generally don't post or comment...I am so much like you and I can get hurt easily and analyze too much...I think we talked about this before. Most people mean well... and are of good intentions. It can be hard to put these emotions into emails and comments and sometimes can be misinterpreted. Then when I come back to it and reread it wasn't the negative or hurtful message I thought...hope I am making sense. Lots of folks are really busy too...or forgetful (that is my bane)You are a good and genuine person and enjoy the comraderie that is here and don't worry...it can wear you down. xxoo
I always appreciate hearing from people on my blog and try to reply, but often I can't think of anything intelligent to say (or their writings are about something I know nothing about). Some peoples blogs I have visited time after time without succeeding in writing a thing. I recognise some of their names here! I don't imagine that many people get upset if they don't hear back as most people are more generous than that.
Dear Miss Robyn
I visit your blog daily, you’re one of my favorites and I have never commented. I have been stumped by the etiquette of comments as well. I am deeply grateful for all comments left on my blog. Yet I wonder if people actually come back to see if I've replied to them. Sometimes life is overwhelming and it’s difficult to make a comment on everything that you read. I often read a blog on the fly. Originally I started my blog as an exercise in writing, and discipline. It wasn’t long and I decided it would make a great legacy. Now I see the world in a different way. Asking myself more questions and surveying the world in search of blog posts. Keep up the great work, you are revered by many……even us silent ones!
Oh no, dear Robyn, no worry. You have loads of readers! Like you, I think we all get blogged down and can`t manage to get to every comment spot all the time.
I`m finding between having a blog and reading all my favorite blogs that I`m neglecting things I want to do elsewhere. How does one fix that one I wonder? I`m thinking of actually only going on my computer every other day. So far that`s hard!
I`m like you......we worry too much my friend.
tea
xo
Dear Robyn: I'm a day behind, as usual. You have so many dear friends and I know you feel their love. You know how I feel about my comments. I love them love them love them, but I do not reply to them. I even wrote a post of apologies because I don't.
Again, I say; if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say it. I don't know why people have to write to you and point out "neediness." We all are needy in one way or another and don't need people to rub it in. Hang in there Ms*R. Remember--hormies, hormies, hormies. We either have too many or not enough. Kinda like a man--can't live with em, can't live without em. Well, I don't know about the latter...hehe. KIDDING!
Too bad a smile cannot be a seen comment! Trust. And let go.
I use to respond to every comment,then I would write a comment on each blog that wrote me. I also wrote a comment on every link on my blog, each day....that represents many hours.
Too many hours.
Then I went to California to visit my family. I couldn't keep up, I hardly looked at blogs, I seldom wrote to anyone, I rarely wrote back...and I saw the beauty of the blog, Friendships remained. The realness of friends on the internet...sometimes we can be present, sometimes we cannot, sometimes we can write back, sometimes we can be the one who holds each others hand, and we can be friends regardless if we can write a comment everyday to each person we know.
We must trust, and let go...there are many ways of celebating friendships.
Time is a great glorious gift, and to create a blog and maintain one takes alot of time;
I am back in France, and hope to be more responsive, but I cannot go back to having this computer attached to my hip. I trust that others will agree and understand.
Lucky we are to visit each other, to bad a smile cannot be a seen comment!
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