driving miss robyn

off on a new adventure!

2006-12-28T07:49:00.000+11:00

I have started a new blog - goodness gracious miss*R!
~ going into 2007 I need to do what is right for me and after pondering the last few weeks, it means starting a new blog - with warts and all.

at first I was going to walk away from blogging altogether, but I love it. I love how I can be creative with the tap of a finger, how I can play with photos, words and other stuff.

then ~

I was going to keep my new blog private as
there are a few people out there who are reading my blog and taking it unto themselves to tell me what they think my problem is. They don't comment until one day a vein bursts in their head and they email me with vicious unkind words

but instead, I say this:

! ! if I receive one email pointing out my personality faults or saying I am on the road directly to hell - then I will out whoever sends the email - meaning their name will be in print on my new blog along with the nasty words that they felt they had to attack me with - or the personality faults that they thought I might need to know.

(just a few weeks ago, someone pointed out that I had low self esteem - thankyou for that)

I don't mind friends emailing me with advice or wisdom, I welcome it actually

- it helps me sometimes, putting a different perspective on my thoughts - sometimes your advice hits home - kind of like free advice or counselling. It is those who are silent that bother me, those who read, who voyeur, who suck my energy and when they think I am down, they attack with words - like vipers.

I guess this sounds like I am some kind of prima donna blogger & I guess I will lose readers along the way- but I need to blog for ME until I develop that tough shell that my Nan told me that I needed way back when I was a little girl

MY NEW HOME

the day after Boxing Day

2006-12-27T10:08:00.000+11:00

yesterday was a quiet day for us. I cleaned up after the day before and slept. I also started a healing spirit doll for a sweet gal I have met through blogging. I think I have found my purpose (well today that is)

I also started working on my new blog & I like it. Goodness gracious miss*R! I am still not sure where it is going though - I am seriously thinking of keeping it private for the time being. To access it you will have to sign in each time you wish to visit. still not sure though.

today, I am off to have my hair coloured & then I am hitting the art supplies shop. I have just signed up for an online journalling course and I need to get myself some supplies (any excuse!)

then off to the gym for me - you know, christmas piggy wiggy and all that.

my christmas day was the same as every other year

my mum and sister had an argument, people complained that I forgot 'something' and I drank champagne in the kitchen getting more insane with each glass.

XOXO

2006-12-24T17:41:00.000+11:00

wishing each of you, my friends a wonderful Christmas day * may it be filled with joyful laughter, memories of Christmases past, love & peace.

I will be back soon with a new blog ~ xoxo

off on an adventure

2006-12-23T07:07:00.000+11:00

the inner child and I are taking a break xo

midsummer magick

2006-12-22T07:50:00.000+11:00

celebrating my summer solstice tonight! for a bit of fun I took this quiz that I found at Aceys blog

I am so looking forward to next year ~ I can feel in my soul it is going to be a time of spiritual growth for me and a time when I finally get a grip on it all.

with a little help from my Bach flower friends.

You are The Star

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Star is one of the great cards of faith, dreams realised

The Star is a card that looks to the future. It does not predict any immediate or powerful change, but it does predict hope and healing. This card suggests clarity of vision, spiritual insight. And, most importantly, that unexpected help will be coming, with water to quench your thirst, with a guiding light to the future. They might say you're a dreamer, but you're not the only one.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

why is it so?

2006-12-21T15:47:00.000+11:00

can some one please explain why chocolate jumps into your mouth as you walk past the box? And why is it that once there were 9 little chocolate shells and now there is one?

another mystery of life.

wasn't me, I didn't do it

My daisy lupin Christmas memory

2006-12-21T06:30:00.000+11:00

I have many, many memories of Christmases past ~ but the one that is most special for me is a Christmas not long ago ~ Christmas of 2001.

The year I finished my radiation treatment. During that year as I 'did' my treatments, I had met many wonderful women online on a cancer support forum.

My gorgeous darling, sensitive husband gave me a 'reward' for being 'brave' ~ a trip to New York city to visit my bestest friend Gin. She and others helped me get through those weeks of treatment. So at the end of July we began our preparations for this huge 5 week holiday (the trip alone is daunting - I think a 14hr+ trip from Sydney to Los Angeles then from LA to NY - so many hours, on a plane)

Sept 11 dawned and as we all know - New York was attacked.

what to do? do we go or not? we had to make some pretty fast decisions in the days following - against the advice of many, we decided to continue on with our plans. And I am so glad we did!
Gin lives on Staten Is. Her husband is a NYPD detective. her parents were italian. She is a New York yankee fan. She is an all round nice person and she welcomed us into her home and heart.
Before we left Australia, Gin emailed me and asked me to make a list of what I wanted to do. my list went something like this:
to pay my respects at what was now known as Ground Zero ~ we arrived at the site and while we were there, a news show was being made and we were all asked where we came from, once we said Australia, the news crew came running over to film us ~ we were on the news that night ~ oh gawd, I looked a sight: my nose was red from the cold, I had a woollen beanie on and really looked like a homeless waif - ahh well such is fame!
to eat pastrami on rye in a traditional New York Deli ~ and we did and it was delish!
chestnuts from a street vendor ~ an aquired taste - not my kind
a ride in the carriage in Central Park ~ such fun - we were wrapped up under a blanket and off we went!

to have an 'affair to remember' by visiting the Empire State building ~ we got to the Empire state building and had to produce id. of course we had left all our passports back on Staten Is - Gin flashed her 'detective' badge and they let us in - thank heavens - it was sooo cold up the top, it was raining ice, but the view was amazing
I wanted to visit 34th street and we did and I danced to the Christmas music in Maceys! those New York people thought I was hilarious
I wanted a white Christmas - even though Gin and Ron assured me they had done the naked snow dance, it didn't snow on Christmas day - although at first I thought it had - you see, I woke early Christmas morning and looked out the window - seeing white! snow! I woke everyone up and made them look and then realized I was looking at the next doors drive which was covered in white pebbles - it was funny!
We visited the huge toy store in New York city, we travelled on the Staten Is. ferry, unfortunately we couldn't visit the Empire State building as it had been closed to the public, we went to see the famous Rockettes, we had New York hotdogs with the lot,

we had our photo taken with New York police

~ we met friends of Gins who had worked on the rescue after Sept 11, we visited people we didn't know and talked to them about life. We, strangers from Australia were welcomed with open arms into their homes.
We had a traditional Christmas eve italian dinner ~ we went to midnight mass ~ we had a traditional Christmas day with our friends.

Then we travelled for 3 weeks to Pennsylvania and Indiana to 'meet' some more online gal friends...then came back to New York to fly back to LA.

The day we were driving to the airport - it started to snow.

I cried all the way from New York to California - knowing that I would miss this gal with all my heart.
and that dear friends is a little peek into one of my Christmas memories.

another ghost of Christmas past

2006-12-20T06:52:00.000+11:00

I would like to know:

just why is Santa holding my hands down?

and why was I crying? (was it because I didn't want to be here on earth? or was it because I was born in the southern hemisphere and knew in my soul that I was in the wrong place. Lord knows I was supposed to be living in Cornwall. Was it because I was thinking - oh gee, here we go again..another life - I wanna go home to the angels! or was it because I am a TRUE Wednesdays child - full of woe added with the ruling planet of Saturn * serious) ~ whatever it was, I wasn't a happy soul this day - 1959 - my first Christmas, ME ~ not quite 1 year old

something went dreadfully wrong

2006-12-19T13:03:00.000+11:00

this morning, I finally found time to cut my fruit cake up - I have promised a piece to Gina from Patras place and the rest is wrapped up and given away over the Christmas break.

But something has gone wrong - the cake is dry.. I could just about cry. I have been making these cakes for nearly 20 years and this is the first year it hasn't turned out moist. So I stressed, I planned to make another, I panicked. what should I do.... ok - I could send myself demented and try to get another made or I could just accept that this didn't turn out. I only eat a little of my fruit cake, Joe and Sophie don't eat it, either do my other two children or their partners. They like the chocolate slice that I am planning on making on the weekend. MY mind is muddled on what to do - my soul says don't worry about it, that it's not important * but then there is the ego, the 'responsible' Capricorn who keeps telling me that it is tradition, that I *should* make another, that I won't settle unless I do.

yeah, ok so I make another, running around like a manic fool, trying to make Christmas perfect for everyone, I don't have fun! Why do we do this to ourselves?

I am trying so hard to follow my soul..... I am having constant conversations in my head about the dilemma of the cake - the new moon is coming & I feel totally spaced out and ungrounded..... if I don't make another, the world won't end, I know that

another little dolly

2006-12-19T06:43:00.000+11:00

this is my Christmas dolly ~ I only made two - one for me and one for a friend...sadly I am behind in my posting of parcels and she is still sitting on my table ready to go to the post office. If I can get my act together today - she will be off on her journey!

a ghost of Christmas past. . .

2006-12-18T22:04:00.001+11:00

me!

monday musings

2006-12-18T06:27:00.000+11:00

"Reminding one another of the dream that each of us aspires to may be enough for us to set each other free."
Antoine De Saint-Exupery

gratitude on Sunday

2006-12-17T20:08:00.000+11:00

I spent most of today in my garden ~ trying to get it into some kind of order in time for Christmas day. While I was working, a butterfly landed on my hand and just sat there, wings moving ever so slowly. It made my heart stop, just for a minute. for the simple things in life, I am grateful.

a wander through my garden on Sunday

2006-12-17T06:57:00.000+11:00

I found a delightful site called green thumb Sunday - I was going to join but had to put a blogroll on my sidebar and I am not fond of those so decided not to....however I can still show a little of my garden each Sunday when I can.....gives me something to do and something to write about if I have a block (HA!)

here are some photos taken just last week of my lavender ~ I have rows of it planted and at the moment this lavender is flowering like mad - can't remember if it is english or spanish. I also have lavender 'allardii' growing. Eventually I want to have as many kinds of lavender growing as I can.
I have a jar full of it beside my bed and it really helps me to sleep.

the cosmos

2006-12-15T09:10:00.000+11:00

yesterday, I walked around in a daze, like a muddle headed wombat. My head felt like it was full of cotton wool. I felt so ungrounded. I decided to move furniture around & give the kitchen a little bit of Christmas spirit. not a good idea in the frame of mind i was in. I had this gorgeous glass jar, full of water, with seashells sitting in the bottom and floating candles on top. It slipped from my fingers and as it went down - I remember thinking - oh that is going to hit my foot, I wonder if it will cut it? and down the vase went - smashing to bits and hitting my foot. I looked and it seemed ok, a little nick over the bridge of my foot - not too bad - until the blood started. Of course no bandaid to be found and anyhow, bandaids weren't going to be fixing this. I grabbed a towel and put it over the cut - looking to see how bad it was - there was one puncture mark in the cut that went quite deep. what to do? improvise. with what? All I could find was a sanitary pad - so I folded that, held it tight and strapped sticky tape all over my foot and wrapped it in a towel. then went to bed. this morning my foot is bruised and really sore. I don't think it needed stitching and it seems to be ok.

so with that and an email I received this morning pointing out some less than perfect character traits of mine - I am feeling a little low. And of course, me being me - I fired an email back and wished I hadn't - lesson for today - think before you click send.

faery Friday

2006-12-15T06:46:00.000+11:00

ooh I was so excited when I stumbled across this website - what fun! so get your colouring pencils out - all the glitter you can find and let your inner child express herself . Let her colour outside the lines if she wishes, let her use as much glitter as she wants, let her scribble, draw, cut and paste. let her have fun!!
colour in with the faeries

introducing dear Mona

2006-12-14T16:07:00.000+11:00

this is Mona - my gift for tonights patchwork party - we all take a gift, put it in a draw and pick one each

she was going to be menopausal moaner but she is just too darn cute to be a moaner, me thinks! I have had such fun with her. You know, I am so happy that I have re-discovered my love for making dollies - I did it for many years and I guess I got burnt out ~ but now I am having fun creating & I truly believe these dolls are art....

Mona:

from her gorgeous vintage diamante belt buckle (sorry, the photo is blurry)

to her cute vintage ribbon & beads around her neckline

right down to her little black tuille petticoat underlay

Mona! I think you are just PERFECT!!

stay tuned

2006-12-14T08:52:00.000+11:00

the unveiling of MONA will take place later today!

a little more decorating

2006-12-14T06:22:00.000+11:00

our Christmas tree

we have our main Christmas tree in our sitting room. Each year, we buy this from our local bush fire brigade and the money goes towards buying fire fighting equipment.
This year, I really cannot get into the spirit of Christmas, I don't know why. I am leaning towards a very simple Christmas, towards a more earth based celebration.
we put the tree up and I got the lights out and put them on. To me, that was enough. It looked perfect. Until I voiced those words. Cries from the gallery, that I call my family; 'mum! you can't JUST have lights' ~ 'oh we have to have all our special ornies on the tree' ~ and on and on it went - so I trudged out to the store room, dragged the million or so boxes in~ full of ornaments. But my heart is not in it.

AND! I would like to know where everyone is? while I decorate? sitting by my lonesome ? ?

So I fume, rant and rave until I explode. then they are scared! Yep!

'can we help?' ~ 'is there any thing we can do?'

I burst into tears. WELCOME TO MY CHRISTMAS.

Is it worth it?
anyhow - no more from miss Robyn bah humbug. . . . . I am really wanting to share my Christmas home.

this ornament , above, was made by my son in kindergarten - it was the first handmade ornament I had ever received as a mother and I treasure it. It has to be my favourite.

the nativity scene was made by Sophie at her art class - I use a small piece of vintage lace to sit it on

and this is Mr plum pudding - made by Sophie when she was at pre- school.

just have to share!

2006-12-13T17:47:00.000+11:00

remember I received dolly in the post from daisy-lupin? well, here she is

isn't she just wonderful! when I opened the package I could smell a gentle waft of lavender * the calming herb. And it did calm me. I looked at her and fell in love * I could feel all the healing energy that my friend Daisy had infused her with. I have her hanging on my bed post, just above my head. I just love her so much. She has a blue lace agate hanging around her neck -which is perfect for me and is decorated with snowflakes, flowers & leaves, pearls & feathers and lots of other glitter and such. Inside her is tucked some lavender ~ but best of all dear daisy tucked in some of her rowan tree - the witches tree. that touched my heart. I can really, really feel the healing coming from this doll. She is special to me.

thankyou Daisy - you did good xoxo

wednesdays ~ wish upon a star*

2006-12-13T07:08:00.000+11:00

When you wish upon a star*, makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires will come to you

If your heart is in your dreams, no request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star* as dreamers do

I find it hard to ask the universe for material things for myself. When I pray or meditate, talk to the angels or faeries ~ it is always for something for someone else or for my 'spiritual' life ~ but hey! I want other stuff too & I believe that the universe is full of abundance ~- there is as much as we want for the asking. But we HAVE to ask. There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for things for ourselves at all

*so each Wednesday, I am going to ask * I am going to wish upon a star * I am going to put my request out there, let it go and trust.

join me if you will xo

reflecting

2006-12-12T07:22:00.000+11:00

awhile back, I wrote a post about my mum - how she drove me insane, sometimes ~ and I need to clarify this - not for anyone but myself. I come from a long line of passionate, fiery women, well, either ~ passionate or completely insane. My mum, my Nan and her mother and probably her mother before her, myself ~ as well as my daughters ~ all passionate. I can remember when I was a little girl and my dear Nan was driving my mother absolutely demented to the point where at one stage my mum stormed outside screaming 'if I ever get like my mother, get a gun and shoot me'. Of course I don't have a gun but yes, my mother did turn into my Nan. And I have turned into my mother and my eldest daughter has turned into me ~ just the other day she said to me: ' geez, mum you frustrate me sometimes' . But the fact that we say these things does not mean that we don't love each other. AND(never start a sentence with and) after this past week of realizing that many won't have their mothers here with them at Christmas time, made me feel quite awful reading my previous post - cause I love my mum, I really do. And I will cherish the time we have left together

keeping Frank at the post office busy!

2006-12-11T20:06:00.000+11:00

yep, these past few days, there have been deliveries after deliveries. Boxes & envelopes. And I feel much loved - thankyou

hmm let me see

* Janet sent me the most gorgeous decoration ~ a heart with the chakra colours on it ~ Janet ~ it is just perfect for me oxox.

*Pea sent me a gorgeous card with a felt teapot & teabag - still trying to work out just when I have to drink it - so we can be drinking it at the same time;

*Sheila sent me a lovely Holly elf * he is magickal - I have him hanging over my faery altar.

*Daisy-lupin sent me a package but I can't open it til Christmas ooh and she did me a lovely card!

*Ang sent me the sweetest card -love that!

*I received my secret glitter gal ornament too but I can't reveal who sent it just yet - but let me say it is perfectly me!

*I have been having fun opening more of my stocking treasures too! among them so far - the most exquisite bell to for the angels; a lovely book of quotes; two beautiful decorations - one of which my grandson begged me for (it was the Holy family); a drawer sachet that I tucked into my vintage flower drawer and Christmas carol cd. I am so glad I decided to open one gift a day - it is such fun! thankyou Lee-ann

** oh and I nearly forgot (how could I?) I received a spirit goddess dolly from Daisy - I adore her, she is perfect for me * I can feel her healing energy just looking at her & she is extra special cause Daisy tucked some rowan into her as she made her (shhh don't tell customs!) oh, Daisy, I love, love, love her! thankyou !

I will take photos a little later - my batteries died & I forgot to recharge them

and from me : today I finally sent my Christmas stocking off - sorry Lee-ann, I have been a little under the weather with this glandular thing; I also sent a couple more ornaments off & tomorrow the last of them will be sent off.

monday musings

2006-12-11T06:07:00.000+11:00

At this moment * I trust the eternal wisdom of the universe * God is guiding my every step and is surrounding me with love & protection

Sundays gratitude

2006-12-10T21:41:00.000+11:00

here in NSW ~ Sunday is a watering day. So early this morning, I made myself a cup of tea and headed of to water my garden. We must use a hand held hose or watering can. No sprinklers or fixed hoses. Here I was, watering - muttering to myself about global warming, hating that I live in a day and age that the world is going crazier by the minute and feeling sorry for myself as my glands are still swollen (I am such a sorry sack, sometimes) - when I noticed that there was a light drizzle of rain. I looked out at the valleys across from my home and they were covered in mist. A magpie warbled just at that very minute and I realized just how blessed I am. truly blessed. I felt my soul tingle when that magpie warbled and felt gratitude ~ that I could hear the song, that I could see the mist across the valley, that my chickens were scratching and clucking ready to lay their eggs. That I could smell the dampness of my lucerne mulch, that my english lavender has flower spikes forming, just in time for Christmas. And I was grateful that I could snap myself out of my poor me moment and realize just how lucky I am. Gratitude is good for the soul.

a prayer shrine

2006-12-10T07:59:00.000+11:00

over the past year, I have come to love many of you gals - have found that many of us are 'kindred spirits' and many of us are tied by our heartstrings. I believe this connection was meant to be ~ it is for a reason, whatever that maybe. I believe that we were sent into each others lives to help each of us get through some emotional turmoil and to help each of us cope with this world as it is right now.

And I feel blessed.

Each of us prays for each other, sends out best thoughts out for each other and wraps each other in a cocoon of love.

We are all so fortunate to have met.
One of our 'own' has just lost her mum and we all mourn for her, grieve along with her and feel her pain.

I have set up a little prayer shrine for us to use, whenever we need to ask for prayers or whenever we want to pray for someone. I have infused it with angelic healing.

Use it as you need, with my love

xoxo
our sacred shrine

when words aren't enough

2006-12-09T11:40:00.000+11:00

Lisa our dear ocean dreamer has been on my mind constantly these past few days. I won't say I know how she feels because I don't. I will oneday. I have said prayers and I have lit candles but I want to do something more, I want to hug her and hold her hand and take her pain and hurt away - right now. But I can't because I live down here. all night this kept coming into my mind - until I knew I just had to get it out - if I keep worrying about it - then, it makes the angels work so much harder.

we need to ask, believe and let go

this is for Lisa - because I can't do anymore

XOXO

the tangle that is Christmas and other stuff

2006-12-09T06:57:00.000+11:00

can someone please explain how this happens?

last year after Christmas, I carefully took the lights of the tree in my dining room and wrapped them round & round my arm. carefully. I then tied them up with some gorgeous gold ribbon and placed them on top of the decorations in the 'dining room' box. On Thursday, I decided it was time to put this tree up and decorate it. So I took the lid of the box and there were the lights all neat and tied. Until I took the ribbon off. It was like they had a mind of their own, like they had had enough of being constrained for 12 mths, tied up like a turkey. And in a blink of an eye - I had the tangled mess that you see above. Or maybe - this happened to show me what my poor frazzled Christmas brain is like - a big tangled mess.

so I got on with my decorating - this tree is not my main tree {I have a real tree in my sitting room as my main tree}. This tree is a tradition now - when I first put it up about 15 years ago, I lived elsewhere and my kitchen was huge. In one corner I had an old kooka stove that was for show only. One Christmas, my home was featured in a country magazine so I had to pull some pretty fantastic ideas from my brain. I decided to do a kitchen themed tree - but didn't really want to go hanging my utensils all over it. So I made some cloth gingerbread men - with a little cinnamon stick, some cloves and a teenie tiny cookie cutter all tucked into his pocket. I made about 20 or so and decided to give them away to friends after the photo shoot. A tradition was born. Each year from then on, I have put this tree up and made a different decoration, sometimes more than one design.

I haven't been as industrious this year - I have made decorations to send to my friends but not enough to give away as friends visit - I plan to give them some Christmas cake & awhile back I bought some Christmas soaps from Peggy. The idea was to have them in a little pressed glss bowl at my door to give out to my friends instead of my home made decoration. But when I unwrapped the soaps, Peggy had packaged them up into individual cardboard boxes and tied them with raffia! Just like a gift. so this is what I decided to do :~

don't they look wonderful? Just perfect!

and here are some close ups of my decorations ~ most I have made myself, some were given to me (there is a little ball that Leeann sent to me in my Christmas stocking) & some were purchased at some time during my travels - all with a meaning.

in memory of John

2006-12-08T06:26:00.000+11:00

All we are saying is give peace a chance.
John Lennon

i love my plaster angel and when i took the photo the other day - I could see it making a gorgeous little thing for our sidebars. to show that all we can do is give PEACE a chance. Take this if you wish and put it on your sidebar with my love xoxo

too precious for words

2006-12-07T14:54:00.000+11:00

this is the nativity scene that I saw in a junk shop window & begged the owner to sell it to me. Even though it wasn't for sale. The lady who owns the junk shop has an eye for the kitsch. She also has a lamp of the Sacred Heart of Jesus - the light is actually his heart and it glows. Trouble is, as it ages the light travels further up and it is now in his throat - looking very much like a goitre. I love it! and have begged her for that but she keeps it over her bed - much to her husbands dismay.

I love my nativity scene & I always, always put this up at this time of year ~

this is a part of my belief that I try to blend in with my hedgewitchery.

It is special. It is actually handmade - and has a little light inside that glows over the Holy family.oh yes, it is incomplete - Joseph is missing so I use the shepherd and there are only 2 wise men (one had melted in the heat of the lamp), the camels aren't really part of it as they are out of proportion. But I still love it. It isn't grand by any means. But I still love it. why? 'cause it is simple and was obviously made from the heart. And isn't that what it is all about?

what days are made of

2006-12-07T07:41:00.000+11:00

Thursday is the day that I either go to patchwork or clean up my kitchen and dining room - today lucky me, I get to clean - then I can decorate. Although in this heat, it is not feeling much like Christmas.

I also have to get myself into some kind of gear and finish my Christmas gift for my sewing group - each year we make one item and then have a kind of raffle - we receive one gift back. I usually make a cloth doll - I started this one ages ago. I have an idea in my head as to where she is going but who knows what will happen when I start?

I have been experimenting with different ideas and techniques - so far I am happy. I just need to find an old cardi to make her a jacket. This is the dolly that I bought the vintage coin purse for. Her skirt will be made out of the vintage floral fabric with a black tuille petticoat and her camisole will be made from the lace. I hope to put vintage diamante ear-rings on her shoes and am looking for some kind of old diamante hair clip to stick on her hair. Black & lime green tights (painted on) and pink shoes - hmmm maybe a little bit of glitter on them?

I am sure this dolly is a reflection of menopausal moaner.

you know * I love making dollies, I use to make them to sell a few years ago, but got burnt out in the end from orders, orders, orders. I am thinking of selling them again, next year on etsy along with my totes that I make, not sure yet!

I also have to go to the post office to send of the second last lot of my packages. I have to cut my fruit cake into smaller pieces and wrap it up in cellopane ready to give out and oh - you get my drift - I am busy!

driving miss robyn ~ insane

2006-12-06T10:42:00.000+11:00

this gal got her drivers license yesterday - she can now legally drive herself on the road. oh my gawd. She is all grown up - but I don't know it, I can't accept it. How does a mother cut the ties to let their baby fly? I have given her a vintage St Christopher medal (blessed of course) to put into her car & I have asked St Michael the archangel to be with her each and every time she drives - but still I will worry - cause thats what mums do. isn't it?

a little Christmas for you today

2006-12-06T06:34:00.000+11:00

I meant to post this on December ONE

but menopausal moaner got into my mind and made me forget

~ a virtual advent calendar

decorating today - for YOU

2006-12-05T11:59:00.000+11:00

not much today - I cleaned my healing room ~ my sanctuary.

I decided to forgo the frenzy that is Christmas in this room - totally.

In this room is where I do reiki healing, in this room is where I meditate and in this room is where I talk to my angels. This is where I pray.

It is where I sometimes cast my circle and do my spell work.

I have an altar set up and the room has been blessed.

As I went about anointing the altar I got to thinking of each of you - how you have each touched my life in different ways.

How many of us are feeling quite frazzled lately and I decided that today I would dedicate my candle to each of you

* to take as you need and do with what you will.

* * *

I would also like each of you to find a small area - even just a shelf

decorate it with special bits and a candle.

When you light that candle think of your blogging friends around the world and send love & peace to them.

You don't have to remember names or mention everyone - the saints, angels and faeries know exactly what is in your heart.

They will take this flame and spread it where it is needed.

Then, close your eyes and feel that flame coming back three fold

much love, blessings, bliss & peace to each of you xoxo

mail ! & lots of it

2006-12-05T06:39:00.000+11:00

I have been remiss over the past few days - last week I received two package and yesterday my glitter sister ornament arrived on my doorstep! of course I cannot share that just yet - but let me say - the one that was specially made for me is oh! so perfect !!

from Gretel, my SOSF partner ~ which contained lots & lots of fun stuff - stuff that was specially chosen with me in mind ~ among the treasures were 3 old postcards {one being from Cornwall) ~ a gorgeous vintage book of reflections {watch here for Monday musings!} ~ some halva, a teeny pink sugar mouse & a chocolate butterfly ~ she also tucked in a pack of her Red Elephant Christmas cards {they are just darling! ~ too, too sweet to use} but the thing that touched my heart was a little wooden box - made from an old beam taken from a Devon farmhouse - when I touched this dear little box, my heart stirred, my soul gasped! I felt a connection, I truly did. My hands tingled as it nestled in my palms ~ My great grandparents could have passed by this farmhouse ~ they could have visited or even lived there. Of course I will never know but I can imagine. thankyou dear, dear Gretel ~ I am so blessed that our paths have crossed xoxox

from Lee-ann from Pear Tree Cottage ~who is my Christmas stocking partner *her package arrived on Friday, but I was so, so sick with this glandular thing that I only opened it on Sunday. But what a surprise! the box was filled with paper and among the paper chocolate coins were sprinkled and there sat my Christmas stocking - full of presents each one wrapped individually with a coin stuck to it. Leeann was also thoughtful to tuck a gift in for ms*Sophie ~ who was so touched that she got tears in her eyes. thankyou Leeann, you are sweet gal. There were two miniature Christmas puddings that jumped into my mouth that very second! And I unwrapped one gift which was a CD of Christmas carols - I looked at all the other gifts and decided to open one each day - like an advent calendar I guess - gives me something to look forward to - my inner child is excited! so far I have unwrapped a gorgeous glittery purse {of course I will use it, my inner child demands that!} and a teeny tiny book of womens wisdom. Leeann ~ thankyou so much - xoxoxo

as I go along decorating

2006-12-04T16:32:00.000+11:00

Be it Chanukah or Yule,
Christmas time or Solstice night,
All celebrate the eternal light.

for those of you who know me - you know that today, Monday is the day I usually change the sheets on my bed & give both my bathrooms a good scrub. yay for me !

Once that was all done today, - I got to thinking about how I would decorate my bedroom for Christmas. In past years I have always had a vintage themed Christmas tree in our bedroom - full of old lace, buttons & vintage decorations, but this year - my soul is saying - keep it simple. I have a lovely vintage angel that Joe bought me at a garage sale ages ago and in keeping with the simple theme - it is perfect. Along with candles. oh and of course, the obligatory gardenia from my garden. You see, this year - I must keep Christmas as simple as I can ~ to help me relax, to unwind, to settle the messed up jigsaw that is my mind. Decorating with candles, mostly. what better for this magick time of year? LIGHT - is it a coincidence that the birth of Jesus, is around the same time as the Northern Hemispheres' WINTER SOLSTICE? the time when the olde religion that I practice celebrates the return of the light to the world in the form of the sun. what about us down here in the southern hemisphere? does that mean our light returns for us in June, when our winter solstice occurs? questions, questions. I celebrate Christmas because it is a tradition but I celebrate it in a different way to most - I bring hedgewitchery into it if I can ~ and I believe that Christ came to earth to bring light into our hearts, into our souls, to teach us to love. And that is what I strive for. So I will use light to decorate my home. Hopefully bringing that very peace that I am trying to find.

blessings, bliss & peace xo

monday musings - during this time of magick

2006-12-04T06:50:00.000+11:00

* the season we call Christmas. The time when most of us truly feel magick in our hearts ~ {from whatever reason or belief it comes} ~ I give some Christmas musings

Christmas gift suggestions:
To your enemy, forgiveness.
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect.
~Oren Arnold~

gratitude on Advent Sundays

2006-12-03T17:05:00.000+11:00

above is the first stage of my advent wreath on my altar - the first mauve candle in a fake pine wreath next to a vintage statue of the Holy Family. I will light the candle each night at dinner time & let it burn for an hour or two. Each Sunday a new candle will be added.

setting up my advent wreath today, I wondered to myself, what I could say that I was grateful for. I have many blessings, many wonderful friends & my health is good. I lit the candle and as I did, I realized that I am grateful for my spirituality - that spark inside that has me constantly asking questions * celebrating, when I 'realize' something about life & the bubbling joy inside that I feel this time of year. I am grateful that I know what I believe is true for me, even if I find it hard to put into words. During this past week, ~ a friend pointed out to me that I am trying to blend two totally different beliefs and it's hard to achieve clarity of thought if my two paths haven't joined. And asked me the question: Do you think you have been able to join these two paths?

I hope that during this advent that I can somehow blend my two paths (the catholic and the old religion that was my great Nans') - I am sure I can. I have to. I am going to search the internet for information and ideas. You will see me grow . And I am sure my wise women friends will give me input as I go along.

so setting up my advent wreath on my altar - saying prayers & spells as I went & decorating the wreath with some vintage flowers which I will add to each Sunday ~ is one step towards the bringing together of my beliefs. During the week - I am going to add some crystals and other bits n pieces to my advent wreath to make it my very own - my yule time advent wreath with a touch of the olde religion and alot of me.

ooh you are such a busy little bee

2006-12-03T08:46:00.000+11:00

that is just what Joe said to me yesterday afternoon.....

yesterday went to Rozelle flea markets - me with my camera slung over my shoulder like a tourist - hoping to capture some photos like Corey & Tara do - but of course nothing but junk, real junk. Oh I guess not - there were some gorgeous vintage clothes & jewellry, vintage books galore & I did mangage to buy some old matchboxes & vintage cards that I thought I may be able to use.. and I bought an old beaded purse for the doll I am making for sewing group. I thought of taking some photos of the stall holders but their faces didn't look like they would wanting to be having that - they were hot & grumpy. so I smiled and went on my way.

then we trotted off to Frasers motorcycles to buy something for Joes bike...hmmm I got to thinking - strawberries are in season, how about a trip out to the strawberry farms? so off we go - through the city traffic and out to the country side.

along the road are many stalls that sell fruit and vegetables that are grown by the farmers. Little stalls made of corrugated iron and maybe a little shade cover. I jumped out and this poor elderly italian woman was sitting there in the oppressive heat selling strawberries by the bucket. Her hands were stained red - from picking or maybe it was from eating them... I felt so sorry for her in the heat. "How much?" - I asked .."$5 a bucket" she said - "I will take 4 buckets and a bucket of tomatoes - thankyou" and she smiled. back in the car - excited that I was going to be bottling that afternoon - not thinking that I was going out to a Christmas party at 6. oh no! that didn't cross my mind.....so we got home & I got all my paraphenalia out to begin bottling.....and proceeded to wash and hull the strawberries * eating as I went - thinking of the little italian lady- it was 4pm by this time. then I realized I hadn't prepared the syrup - so I quickly got that done and put it in the fridge to cool. packed the strawberrries in the jars, feeling very much like sweet Kansas Rose - taking a photo to show everyone, thinking myself very, very industrious and feeling very connected to my grandmothers befor me and another brain storm PORT ! - I will use port to preserve them in..what a delicious idea - so I went and got the port decanter and proceeded to half fill the bottles. topped them up with syrup and in they went.

put them on to preserve, raced in the shower, dressed and ready to go. Time to get the bottles out. done - all put out to cool over night. Showed Joe - who said - 'how much port did you use?" - I told him only what was in the decanter and he laughed . ' You know - that was more than a bottle of port?' ------ do you think they will be yummy? one botttle of port between 7 bottles of strawberries.

where it begins

2006-12-02T07:11:00.000+11:00

where my Christmas journey begins - in my store-room. when we renovated this house, I wanted a store-room, so we designed a little room off the verandah - outside. Thank God it is outside, 'cause it is an absolute mess!

come, take a peek

I try so, so hard to keep it tidy, I really do but ...... well the pixies get in there sometimes!

the angel above is one I made a few years ago - she was actually in a country magazine which led to orders for her - I made so many that year, I haven't made one since.

and following are some bits n pieces that I use to decorate my home. There is a vintage nativity scene that is home-made - I saw it in a window of a junk shop one night - the next day I was on the doorstep begging the owner to sell it to me - which she did for $30. My santa collection and my nutcracker collection are packed into vintage suitcases.

christmas wonderland

2006-12-01T19:09:00.000+11:00

welcome to my Christmas home - the beginning.

the door which I use to go in and out of my home. It squeaks when I open it - I refuse to put oil on the hinges. The Christmas wreath that has been put on my door for the last 20 years wherever I may have lived. The sun coming through the apple tree - dappling sun that skips and sparkles across the door, like the faeries that I believe in

* Christmas in summer - welcome to my world

philosophies & the truth

2006-12-01T08:16:00.000+11:00

I am what they call a 'sensitive' - I feel others emotions and the more time goes on, the more I can feel. I can be at a shopping plaza and walk past someone and feel their sadness - it takes all my effort to stop myself from running up to them and hugging them and asking them if I can help them with their problems.

I am also artistic - I have an artist temperament, much like a chef - I bang doors and slam saucepans, I yell, scream and shout. I am passionate. I am a worrier. I am me.

these past few weeks has been an emotional rollercoaster for me - and all I seem to be doing is explaining and apologizing - I don't want to have people thinking 'oh geez, what is she on about now?' I don't want to be that person who people whisper about when I walk past and avert their eyes incase I lose it. oh gawd, here comes that mad woman from Woodford.

I was in the shower this morning ( from whence all my good thoughts come!) and I thought I would put it down in words - for me - to get some kind of meaning to it.

In my wisdom, a few weeks ago I decided I didn't need HRT. I took myself off the pills BAD IDEA ! slowly I have become more and more unbalanced to the point where I called my Dr yesterday and asked her if she thought maybe I was either manic depressive or clinically depressed - I told her I had taken my self of the HRT & she said - stop being so hard on myself - that I had been through alot over the past few years and that I need to learn to relax (yeah right try to relax living with a 17 year old daughter whose life I am wrecking & that I 'just don't understand'). Needless to say I am back on the HRT but it will take time to kick in - beware & be afraid, be very afraid

also - my blogging angst - I can't help when I go through this - I have many, many lovely friends through blogging but if one goes missing then I am like Jesus with the sheep - going out to find that one who was lost.- Some don't want to visit and then I begin to wonder why? why don't they like me

~ this has happened over the past week & it hurt, yes it did. one person decided they didn't want to visit me - emails went back and forth -me trying to work out what I had done - of course I realize now I did nothing - it is their choice. I find it so hard though when i visit other blogs and see these people commenting - I get a little pang of hurt.

- but this morning I remembered the words of our Priest - Father Michael. There was a lady many years ago who I knew just didn't like me. I tried everything to get her to like me and in the end I asked father Michael why she didn't like me? what had I done?

he said ' Robyn - you are a person with a wonderful personality - some people are very reserved, you are zany and full of life and some people cannot take your honesty or your baring of your soul. It is nothing you have done and you must not change as you bring light to many others. Send this woman on with love and may her life be as happy as yours'

- of course many, many of you have advised me with the same thing - have I listened? no! but today - December 1 - I am going to turn a new leaf. I am giving thanks to each of you who DO accept me for who I am, who don't judge me and I am going to send those others on with love! it may not be easy and I may stumble but I will get up, brush myself off and journey on.

oh and yes - I am off to buy THE book - Four Agreements - yes, I am Sheila!! I cannot do this by myself any longer.

faery friday

2006-12-01T07:52:00.000+11:00

what better faery than the sugar plum faery - to start the month of December - the month of Christmas, of magick, of childhood dreams & wishes?

Sugar Plum Fairies

Sightings.

Very rarely seen and then only at dawn particularly favoring the birdsong dawn chorus when they have been seen resting singly or as dancing pairs working as a team. These fairies were the inspiration for Peter Tchaikovsky and his Nutcracker Suite when the famous Sugar Plum Fairy and her attendants welcomed Clara at her court in the Kingdom of Sweets. Beautiful costumes from Spain, Arabia and China worn by delicate dancers representing coffee, tea, chocolate and sugar candy with clowns and toy flutes dance delightfully as The Sugar Plum fairy and her Beau, dance a Pas de Deux to music now famed throughout the world. At the end of the party The Sugar Plum Fairy and toy maker Drosselmeyer grant Clara a Christmas wish to dance with the Prince.

Best Time.

Early spring at blossom time and at harvest time for the sweet ripe fruit, failing a sighting in the orchards, it would be an encouragement for small children to have ballet lessons so that Sugar Plums Fairies may be seen throughout the year world wide and for lovers of music and ballet beautiful Sugar Plum Fairies can be seen performing in most cities.

Habitat.

In orchards and plum groves world wide and the court of flowers where friendly bees share the apples and cherries blossoms.

Likes.

Sweets, Bees, ballet dancing, making jam and wine, organic cultivation, music and Christmas time.

Dislikes.

Mice, and powdery mildew on the plums.

Type.

They vary in size blending in with the color of the surroundings and the color of the plum fruit. Generally they are never more that three to four inches high and there is more chance to see them when the fruit is ripened and falls to the ground.

Names.

Victoria, Prunella, Mirabelle, Diva, Damson, Ruby Sweet, Reine Claude, Angelina, Pearl, D’Agen, Santa Rosa, Doris, Laroda, Queen Rosa, Kelsey, Ivanovka

Friends.

Snow King and Queen, ladybugs, Toy soldiers, The Nutcracker Prince, Dragonflies and Butterflies.

(taken from fairies world.com)

the last day of 'spring'

2006-11-30T08:13:00.000+11:00

I say the last day of spring because by the calendar, tomorrow is the first day of summer here. Not that you would know it as we have had record high temperatures for weeks. Gawd, what is summer going to be like?

* * *

tomorrow - December the first - the day I start my Christmas decorating frenzy - the day I put my wreath on my door and each day as I do my house keeping, I decorate a room - {same as Daisy - we are twins}. I have been doing this for years, I find it easier to do it this way instead of one whole day. I have no idea how I will be decorating yet - I cannot find inspiration in this heat. Christmas in summer time is just not right! God, are you listening?

* * *

We buy our tree from a local bush fire brigade with the money going towards equipment to fight the bush fires. That comes around the 2nd weekend in December & with it comes the bickering - you know, like when you pull the lights out of the box, the lights that you know you took off the tree last year, so carefully wound them up & tied them so they didn't get all tangled but now they are like a big ball of steel wool - oh yes, tempers are frayed in this heat, let me tell you!

* * *

December 1st - the day I play my Bing Crosby Christmas CD and get all emotional - I have been known to cry amongst the clothes in Target when I hear White Christmas (the looks I get !) - the day that I start wanting to go and sit in a quiet church.

* * *

today I am off to Spotlight (again) to buy some white sequins and beads to finish off a doll for one of my secret faery partners..and who knows what else I will buy. I love spotlight - it is full of wonderful glittery bits and all kinds of art supplies.

let me see.. what else? I think I have only about 7 more birdies to finish, I have to get my stocking off to my partner, make another fruit cake (tomorrow) and oh gee, too many to list.

oh & tomorrow - I will have my Christmas decorations up here ! !

I am a fun girl, really I am

2006-11-29T12:07:00.000+11:00

I was born under the star sign of Capricorn - the planet ruled by Saturn. as well I was born on a Wednesday (Wednesday's child is full of woe) - so - I am really behind the 8 ball in trying to be happy & carefree - but I am trying, really I am. I am not always melancholy baby - sometimes I am a fun girl!

sometimes I do laugh and have fun.

these were taken at my daughter in laws 30th birthday party last month.

the photo above is of my son, Caine (he is 31 and is the volunteer bush-fire fighter) & myself

and below is a photo of my mum & I

what has happened to me?

2006-11-27T10:20:00.000+11:00

once upon a time, I never complained. Never. I just took whatever happened in my stride, dealt with it and then got on with life. Just lately, no, make that for quite awhile - all I seem to do is complain. whether it be about my past, my health, the fires or the drought, the things that happened and heaven forbid, my childhood, I have been complaining. poor me. I woke this morning with a shocking headache and started thinking of myself again and then realized what I was doing. STOP! I shouted to myself - there are so many worse of than you, so much worse off. Even in blogworld ~ there are many more worse of than me..do they complain? NO. You need to get a grip, miss robyn, you really do. I have even had a few friends here in blogland - kind of distance themselves from me and I am thinking it is because of my complaining. so I am going to try so hard to find that me that is fun & not so sad etc etc. in the meantime - I am turning comments off - I love comments but my blogging is becoming so dependant on them as it has a habit of doing and it is making me sad & paranoid and making me feel like I 'have to perform' . Of course I will still be blogging as - well, you know me, lots to say and if you want to comment, you can email me through my profile. I will still be commenting on your blogs too - of course ! You are all so special to have been putting up with me over the past few months - thankyou xo

Monday musings

2006-11-27T06:58:00.000+11:00

"Imagination is more important than knowledge."
- Albert Einstein

coughing, spluttering - trying to play catch up

2006-11-26T16:55:00.000+11:00

I watered my garden this morning - we are allowed to water on Sundays, so before it got too hot I went out into the garden for an hour or so. Then it got hot - so I came back in and thought I would play catch up on the blog visiting - I tried to visit most - but this damn coughing gets to me and I have to take a break.

I am trying to get to visit - please bear with me - I haven't abandoned anyone. It seems that my throat is kind of affected and it will take a few days to heal itself, you see, the other night when the fire first started, I mistakenly left my window open and woke during the night with my throat parched from the acrid smoke from the bush fire and now all I do is cough. I am not sick nor do I have a cold. So I am treating myself with manuka honey and some tissue salts for inflammed throats. But it is time that will heal. cough, cough, splutter, cough - that is me at the moment - a lovely vision.

ps - I really love you all - you are such great people - I feel blessed that our paths have crossed in cyber space.

yesterday & today - a rambling post that probably doesn't make much sense at all.

2006-11-25T07:23:00.000+11:00

yesterday - I didn't get to visit many of you - I played house - I cleaned my kitchen - the stove, the pantry and washed the floors. All I have to do now is give the dishwasher a run through and I am done!

I also crafted & created! more of a mess than anything else ha! no really - I did quite a few of my Christmas decorations & did a little bit on my dolly for my patchwork group present (we each take a gift & receive one back). I have made a doll,who I might add is quite 'out there' and have even used melted beeswax on her face - she is looking good!
I went to the post office and sent my first batch of decorations off - I need to do this in batches as Frank, my post office man would be overwhelmed if I took them all at once. so as I package them up, I send them off.
here are my first batch at my front door ready to be sent - they are winging there way to 6 recipients ~ the next lot will be sent next week.

I also wrapped my glitter gal Christmas swap package up & one of my Society of Secret Faeries packages are ready to go on Monday. I get so excited when I send little parcels off to someone. It is like a sparkling little bubble in my solar plexus region, an effervescent bubble, that builds and builds til I can contain it no more - like I feel I am going to burst. Then I have to wait a week or more to see if it got there safely. And believe me, patience is not one of my virtues. Not at all. Patience is one of the lessons that I came here to learn. I am failing.

Oh and Sophie and I are sick - we have allergies from the smoke and both of us have been coughing all night.

Joe and I are off to breakfast in Leura this morning and I am going shopping for my stocking buddy! Also want to find a few bits n pieces for a friend for Christmas. Oh and I am going to the op shops also to find some old books for an altered book. Love those things! I want to do an altered book swap oneday..... oh the swaps I have planned for next year. there is the glitter swap & the friendship bag swap ~ and others of course.I can hardly wait (patience, child, patience).....

so there you have it - early morning thoughts from me

oh and the fires are still burning. The rain stopped at lunchtime yesterday and the fires were controlled but next week they are expecting unfavourable conditions - so we will deal with it then.
have a wonderful weekend!

faery Friday

2006-11-24T16:05:00.000+11:00

would you like your very own faery? there are some up for adoption:

adopt a faery

ahhhh

2006-11-24T06:26:00.000+11:00

it's raining

I woke this morning to the sound of rain on my roof, of rain running down the down pipes. not heavy rain, but nice gentle steady rain. Not rain to fill the dam but rain to help ease the fire threat. Thank God. And thank YOU

my son is home, safe. He slept most of yesterday after being out all night the night before. He was happy to say that they saved someones home. He is a nice 'boy', a lovely man. I am proud.

Happy Thankgiving xoxo

2006-11-23T22:02:00.000+11:00

to each of you who celebrate - I wish a wonderful day!

this morning

2006-11-23T06:18:00.000+11:00

so far so good - I look out my front window and can't see the billowing smoke this morning and no sirens. It is a little cooler however -today is supposed to reach in the 30's (approx 90 or so fahrenheit) . I haven't heard from my son - he is probably resting or still out there. I guess no news is good news. I will take a walk up to the fire brigade later and see the updated message board. Those guys from the brigade are true heros, dinky di aussies and thank God for the Salvos who are doing the catering this time. Feeding all these men and women is a mammoth task
Last night it was an amazing sight to see over 50 fire trucks from all over New South Wales going up in convoy. The lights flashing but going slowly - people were honking the horns and waving. Great to see this support for these volunteers - yes, they volunteer to fight these fires. aren't they wonderful?
here is a link and my home is south-east of the fire.

the fire report at 6.30am this morning

we sit and wait- an update

2006-11-22T18:07:00.000+11:00

updates follow below -as they come

6pm - I came home from the dentist today to the news that a spot fire had started one town up from us and was threatening our village. An ember had 'flown' 10 klms to start this spot fire - shows you just how fast the wind is gusting. The smoke is thick and the sky is black. Sophie was sent home from school early. Joe has been up on the roof making sure our gutters are cleaned out. Our hoses are all ready incase embers drop into the gutters. We have been told that villages have been put on alert to evacuate . So, we sit and wait - do I sleep tonight? not sure - the temperature is supposed to stay around the high 20's to low thirties over night. The air helicopters are flying, dumping 200 million litres of water so far into terrain that is inaccessible to the fire fighters.

I tell you the world has gone mad -last week on Wednesday we had a temp of 7 degrees C and today it was 33 C!

thankyou so much for the prayers and thoughts of us all down here - the gorgeous Blue Mountains on fire and being destroyed.

10pm we have been told by our local bush fire brigade that the threat to our dear little village has passed at this stage. The fire is burning away from us and the wind has dropped. If the wind changes and we are in any danger we will be notified with plenty of notice. So we can go to bed. Not so for the firefighters still out there. My son is expected home around 1 am for a sleep.

once again - thankyou to each of you for your care and concern xo

Wednesday night update

I could just about cry ~

2006-11-22T06:00:00.000+11:00

I woke this morning at some ungodly hour of around 4.30am and could not get back to sleep. The wind was howling outside and the smoke was horrendous. Great. the wind has not done anything to help these bush fires and sirens have been going constantly all night. So, I start to stress, as I do. I feel like crying. I feel the oppression of the fires all around and yes, I feel depressed, like there is no hope. I can honestly say - I feel like it is the end of the world. dramatic - yes. But we are in the grips of severe drought here - and the water is being used up fighting these fires. I don't have a problem with that at all. I just wish it would rain. I wish God, whoever he/she is - would look down and see that his world is in trouble and do something. I wish the idiotic politicians would stop digging dirt up on each other - who cares if this one had an affair or that one takes drugs - not me. I care that we don't have a dam big enough to hold enough water for our city & surrounds. I care that when it does rain - our rain water is going down the drain and out to sea, instead of being sent to a dam. I care about the world. I stress about the world and I worry constantly about the world.

so today here, it is windy - if the fires aren't contained then they could very well threaten our home. My son has been called in to go and fight the fires tonight - a worry for us. But he is a good community member and I am proud of him for doing it. I am proud of our bush fire fighters and I pray that not one life will be lost this time. please God, let it rain.

vintagey Tuesday

2006-11-21T13:26:00.000+11:00

we don't have the antiques that the French & English do - well not in this house. oh how I wish! Tara and Corey are so lucky but sadly here, antiques like that are way out of my purse league. so I run around my home looking for the first thing I can share for my inaugral vintage Tuesday. what will I pick? my religious bits, my antique quilts, old clothes, my scrappy rag dolls or the only French thing I own - a plaster bust? hmmm.

then I remembered the drawer full of vintage millinery flowers.

I started collecting these to send in parcels when I sold on ebay but I did that once and not a thankyou from the buyer so I thought, why bother? (see, I told you I wasn't nice) and these were too precious to be sending to those who don't appreciate the specialness of each flower.

So they sit in my drawer being patted and admired by me quite often. Sometimes I even sink my face into the drawer breathing in that 'old smell'

I found most of these in op shops for about 20c or 50c a piece. Now - ha! the bandwagon took over and they are worth alot more. so now, I refuse to buy them.

I wish I could write some gorgeous words like Corey does - but I can't so all I will say is each of these raggedy flowers touch my heart, they tickle my soul but most of all they make me wonder - they make me wonder about the hat that they adorned and the lady who wore that hat. are they not divine?

a new Tuesday !

2006-11-21T06:26:00.000+11:00

Here I am sitting down here - sweltering in the heat, surrounded by bushfires, just across the valley, with ash falling all over my washing, hayfever making me a sneezing & coughing mess when the sweet Corey is chilly in France. Corey's words constantly tug at my soul, making me gasp sometimes - I know not why but when I read her words, it is like, well - a part of me resonates with them. Is it because I lived in France in a previous life? I have no idea, however her words & photos constantly inspire me and because sometimes I am lost for words (yes, truly I am! I know it is hard to believe) today I am going to start sharing my vintage bits n pieces on Tuesday inspired by Corey but no where near as poetic. Won't you join me in vintage Tuesday?

the fires that are burning near our home are predicted to be like the 1978 fires - I sure hope not! they destroyed many homes and on Christmas day our firefighters missed Christmas with their families our fires

monday musings

2006-11-20T07:12:00.000+11:00

keep life simple
Keep your thoughts positive,
because your thoughts become your words.

Keep your words positive,
because your words become your actions.

Keep your actions positive,
because your actions become your habits.

Keep your habits positive,
because your habits become your lifestyle.

Keep your lifestyle positive,
because your lifestyle becomes your destiny

gratitude on Sunday ~ the Christmas spirit

2006-11-19T16:33:00.000+11:00

I know how much fun it is to receive things in the mail. it makes me all fuzzy inside, to know that someone cares enough to write. I am in quite a few Christmas swaps this year and am really looking forward to them. so - I want to say that I am grateful for my creative self & the opporutunity to be able to join in such fun swaps.

However, I know a few of you don't have the time to participate in swaps right now for various reasons. And that is ok, but I hate to think that people don't receive mail, just for them, 'specially at this time of year.

So - to make sure each of you receives something in your mail box in time for Christmas, I am offering one of my Christmas ornaments to the first 6 people who email me ~ cause I know it is virtually impossible for you to visit so that you can get one off my tree.

nothing expected in return

I would love to be able to send every one a little gift but time is running out, so 6 it is.

There are conditions of course (aren't there always?) - you need to have a blog OR be known to me ! this sounds bossy - sorry

Or if any of you know of someone who you think would like one, then email me.

so - there you have it - hope to hear from you xoxo

christmas(shhh) - creativity

2006-11-19T06:41:00.000+11:00

do you ever create something and when it is finished you get a rush of pleasure, a burst of satisfaction,

knowing that it is just how you want it to be,

and that inner critic remains silent?

well, - I have been making a few things for Christmas the past few days and this one is for myself. And I must say, I am very pleased with what I have created, very pleased indeed.
Each Christmas I make make a few different styled ornaments - I hang them on a tree in my foyer and when someone visits during December, I give them one of the ornaments as a keepsake gift. I keep one of each ornament for myself and these go on a memory tree.

sorry about the quality of the next photo - I tried a few times to get a clearer photo but couldn't - I think it is all the glitter that throws the camera off!

all I want for Christmas. . .

2006-11-18T09:55:00.000+11:00

I have succumbed to Christmas fever way before I had planned to, BUT in this day and age of ordering online - I guess a gal has to do what a gal has to do BUT I simply refuse to even think about decorating until December 1 when my wreath goes on the door and out come Frank & Bing!
I have a few pals who sell their wares online ~ you simply must go have a look!
1) gorgeous, gorgeous cards from my first ever SOSF buddy:
THE red elephant Christmas store

2)lots of yummy scrummy art danglies and such from Colette - love her work!Christmas art danglies & cards

3) Ms*Diva's Christmas soaps
deck the halls
wassail
Christmas magic

THOSE lavender cookies

2006-11-18T09:10:00.000+11:00

gee, sorry - I didn't even think to mention about the lavender. You see, I grow my own ! However - I would suggest fresh would be better over dried & if you buy dried please make sure it is organic as it could have been sprayed with chemicals. I have made cookies similar to this and quite often put lavender flowers into my butter cakes - they infuse the cake with the most gorgeous subtle lavender flavour.

FaErY FrIdAy

2006-11-17T12:43:00.000+11:00

LAVENDER FAERIE COOKIES

1/2 c Butter
1 c Sugar
2 Eggs
1/2 ts Vanilla
1 tb Finely chopped lavender flowers
1 1/2 c Flour
2 ts Baking powder

Preheat oven to 375 F.
Cream butter and sugar. Beat in eggs and vanilla; stir in the dry ingredients until well blended. Drop by half-teaspoons on ungreased baking sheet.
Bake 8 to 10 minutes, and cool slightly on baking sheet before
transferring to plates.

*From "Where the Wild Thyme Grows" article in "The Herb Companion."
April/May 1993*

last night at 11.10pm. . .

2006-11-17T07:08:00.000+11:00

I was sitting here reading blogs and got an urge to draw - I was remembering when I was little and how loved to draw little girls. so, I got my derwents out and just started playing. . . Now, I am not fantabulous in the drawing dept. my work is very 'childlike' but oh, I had such fun! whatcha think?

sadly, I am ashamed of myself

2006-11-16T08:41:00.000+11:00

I had a friend who found out she had ovarian cancer - 10 years ago. She had 6 boys then, all under 12 - the youngest was 2. Her desire was to live to see the youngest one go to school. So she suffered treatment - chemo and radiotherapy and she got her wish. Her youngest one started school. Her cancer was in remission but she was constantly having treatments all those years. Her husband supported her, keeping his day time job as well as looking after the boys & the home. With help from neighbours and friends. He attended the Dr's appointments with her. He loved her and really, watched her die over the years. She finally gave up the fight and died 3 years ago.

Yesterday, I found out that he is getting married this weekend. 3 years after his first wifes death. I was so happy for him - he is still young and most of the boys have grown up - two only live at home now and lets face it men don't do too well looking after themselves.

However, I was in the supermarket yesterday afternoon and I ran into his sister in law and told her how happy I was for him - she pursed her lips and looked at me and said' it seems to me he rushed out as soon as *P* died, to find himself a new wife' - I was really taken aback - and thought to myself - *for heaven's sakes its been 3 years, are you there at night when the kids are in bed, talking to him? are you there to give him affection which all of us crave?* but I said nothing. I didn't stick up for him, I kept quiet and I am sad. I am sad that I didn't have the guts to say what I was thinking and to tell this woman that I know how it is - I went through similar years ago when my first husband was killed in the car accident. I met someone else a year later and got married. what the hell is wrong with that? and what the hell is wrong with people when they can't be happy for others? Chances at happiness in love the second time round don't happen alot but when they do - I say grab it with both hands and don't let go.

yes, I am sad and ashamed of myself that I didn't speak up.

mail for miss*R !

2006-11-16T06:38:00.000+11:00

so - the little birdies delivered down here again - I just wish I could see just what kind of bird comes each time, but I always seem to miss it - just a thump on my doorstep is all I hear. I must be more watchful - I am thinking it was probably a magpie this time as there have been quite a few around me lately & I dreamed of one the other night - hmm must look that up in my power animal cards....... I always get off track, don't I? and that is how my mind works constantly. No wonder I am exhausted!

so the mail this time was from Rosa - a gorgeous faery magazine and a witchy desk calendar for next year and she even send me an ATC! - Rosa, I am truly grateful for you thinking of me.

and I received my formica swap parcel! thankyou to Lisa (the one who dreams of the ocean) for putting this swap together. I will be hanging these from my dresser - they are fun!

oh puhlease mr Bono!

2006-11-15T11:36:00.000+11:00

I am probably going to have the wrath of God come down upon my head and the Irish will curse me instead of bless me -

but what the heck is Bono on about? As you know, I am all for doing our bit to save the world and to help the needy but I get sick to death of him preaching to us about saving the world, while he sits back in the lap of luxury.

Hello mr Bono, be like Dick Smith or even Steve Irwin, stop being a prima donna and donate some of your millions to help,
and please take those glasses off.

goddess-spirit-art dolly swap ~ for next year (closed)

2006-11-15T11:32:00.000+11:00

I have been processing this swap in my head, all morning while in between boring housework and creating my Christmas goodies. I want to get it out there, before it goes somewhere, never to be seen or heard of again.
*I need no more than 11 people - once I have 11, the swap will be closed.

*You will have to make one Goddess art dollie per mth, to be sent out on the last day of each month. each month will have a different theme

*First doll will be sent the end of January and the last doll will be sent the end of November . each participant will receive 11 art dollies in all.

*Beginning each mth - I will send the 'theme' to you along with the person you will be making that dollie for.

*You will never make a doll twice for the same person.
*the doll will be no more than 8" high and will reflect you, the creator.
*It will be an international swap but postage should be ok as these will be light in weight.
I thought that these dollies would be great to hang on a treasure tree, similar to the one that Lisa (who dreams of the ocean) mentioned in her blog awhile back:~ treasure tree
so let me know if you are interested. I will close the swap at the end of this year.

those taking part:

1.Lila * 2.Lizzzy * 3.Ninnie * 4.Lisa(oceandreamer) * 5.me :) * 6. Sandi * 7.Gemma * 8. Daisy * 9.Stacia * 10.Kai * 11.Liz * 12.Ang

*ok, we have 12! the swap is closed, however if you wish to be put on a waiting list incase someone drops out - then let me know

REWIND groundhog-day style - my life today in a nutshell

2006-11-14T19:26:00.000+11:00

I came home from the hospital today and felt so bad about my post where I complained again about the comment thing again that I decided to rewind and tackle it all again. I feel selfish. I am not even going to blame my inner child although I feel the way I behave sometimes is very childish, very. I slapped myself up the back of the head and told myself to wake up. I treasure each of your friendships, I really do. And I would not blame you one bit if you told me to pull my head in sometimes. But I am a fretter.
so I rewind my day and try to get it right this time:

* my fruit is still soaking in brandy for my first fruitcake to be made this Saturday and I am still far behind. Usually by this time, I have two made and another one soaking.

*I am still confused as to what swaps I am in for Christmas. Thanks to some of my girlfriends emailing me and sorting it all out, I have organised myself a little better. I have had fun starting some Christmas items for the SOSF and the glitter gals swap - I received the details for those two yesterday. I really wanted to do a Christmas art dollie swap, but I guess there is not enough time to organize that. ahh well, next year. and I have joined Peggy's Christmas stocking swap

*I tried to merge my favourite blog lists and lost them - so forgive me if I am not visiting lately. I will get by sometime this week via comments left previously - found them! when I was 'organising' my favourites, I accidently dragged the whole Blog favourites file and inserted it into another folder! Now I have sorted it all out, I think

* how on earth can I complain about comments when each of you take the time to visit, when you can. I am so, so sorry for any anguish that I caused any of you for stamping my feet and complaining once again. Here I am complaining about the comments - thinking each of you are sitting at home, just waiting for me to post & not even thinking myself that maybe some of you have things going on in your life or you are busy or, well - you get my drift - and sometimes I even do the same - visit and not comment - I am the proverbial pot calling the kettle black. and I truly am sorry - xox

*nothing has changed here: I cannot for the life of me work out why I can't stay logged into Rosa's blog - I can sometimes, but then next time I visit, I get the boot. It takes me ages to even try to get to sweet Pea's blog and Carol's blog - well no way, it can sometimes take 10 mins to load (sorry girls, that is why I haven't been to comment). I have broadband internet access so I don't have a clue as to why I can't access these blogs

Beta blogger is still driving me to drink - I have a comment all ready to go, then I have to sign in, so I do then I find my comment has disappeared - but I will remember to copy & paste before I hit the publish button

* Joe is home from having his procedure done at hospital and EVERYTHING IS OK! I am so, so relieved

I went arty shopping today - and spent way too much on bits n pieces for my Christmas arty swaps! ooh the glitter gals would love what I bought - I bought glitter tuille & some gorgeous sequins. I bought braids and bells and I bought the most gorgeous piece of glittery fabric for my Christmas tablecloth!

~ so friends - that is my life in a nutshell as it WAS today

we are one but we are many

2006-11-14T07:16:00.000+11:00

every single day, I am astounded at the similarities between you and I. Yes each one you have a little bit of me in you - well, not really me...but who I am. I sometimes read posts and find myself sitting there, opened mouthed - thinking that this is just how I feel or who I am. . . .It was bought home when I read this post at ms*daisy's :~ don't be a passenger. And the comments! Daisy could have written that post for me and for you and for you. great post Daisy!!!!

I often wonder if there is a big plan that has bought us all together via our blogs. It can't have 'just happened' and it can't be a coincidence.

monday musings

2006-11-13T08:48:00.000+11:00

It is not always physical bravery that counts.

One must have the courage to face life as it is,

to go through sorrows

and always sacrifice oneself for the sake of others.
African Traditional Religions Kipsigis Saying (Kenya)

Remembrance Day

2006-11-11T08:01:00.000+11:00

on the 11th day of the 11th month at the 11th hour
we will remember them
take time today to stop for a minutes silence

to remember

the sacrifice of those who have died or suffered in wars and conflicts

and all those who have served their countries

in the name of peace
WE WILL REMEMBER THEM

REMEMBRANCE DAY

the photo above was taken in my garden this morning!

these Remembrance poppies always bloom for the first time on November 11.

faery Friday

2006-11-10T08:27:00.000+11:00

let me introduce you to our very own Australia Bush faery folk - Snugglepot & Cuddlepie - the gumnut babies from May Gibbs. An Australian icon, I believe.I was first introduced to the adventures of Snugglepot and Cuddlepie when I was a little girl of about 4. My dad was an interstate truck driver and when he was away, I would sleep in my mums bed and before I went off to sleep, she would read me a few pages each night. Oh how I looked forward to bedtime then! She would read from her very own book from her childhood. It is dated by hand - Christmas 1947. The illustrations were entrancing - I was mesmerised and felt that I knew these bush folk personnally. And I did. I saw them when I was a little girl. I played with them. I made homes for them, I fed them honey and water. I have faery magick around me, you know. Although I can't see it now, I can still feel it. I feel the faeries and pixies skipping around me sometimes. I love it! oh, but how I wish I could see them now.

And then, when I had my own children ~ I began to make memories for them, by reading the same book to them at night. They grew up with it and many times as we went on bush walks - we would look for the bush faery folk - mr Lizard the big bad banksia men and little ragged blossom.
read an excerpt from the adventures of Snugglepot & cuddlepie

and if you really & truly believe in bush faery folk & love magnificent illustrations you simply must buy a copy! If I were really, really wealthy - I would send each of you one for sure xo
go here to buy the book!

I am speechless & surprised

2006-11-10T06:46:00.000+11:00

I woke this morning ready to post Faery Friday and to an inbox full of emails - with comments like ' congratulations on your winning blog of the day' & others. Thinking to myself "huh? what are they talking about?" -
I continued to read my emails and got to this one from Daisy xo:

"We nominated you because we love 100per cent of you, your kindness and your confusion and your truthfulness about how you feel. WE love all of you, your good days your bad days you are just a great person. You tell life like it really is, not always golden and sugary and we love you for it. You really derserve it for your caring attitude and your worries and your lovely beliefs. You are always there for us and we will always be there for you."

I was totally shocked ~ and started to cry. thankyou so much to all of you. Each of you is part of my heart.

'tis Daisys day

2006-11-09T09:23:00.000+11:00

happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you
happy birthday daisy-lupin
happy birthday to you

to my dear friend ms*daisy Lupin ~ I am wishing you a day full of all things magickal. I feel blessed that our paths have crossed xoxo

this flower faery, is yours to take!

ooh. . . mail!

2006-11-09T07:42:00.000+11:00

I came home yesterday afternoon to surprise packages on my door-step! lucky gal, me! I was wondering which birdies or pixies had delivered this lot - if you read Daisy Lupins blog, you will find out that all manner of bird life actually deliver the mail and here I was, all these years thinking a postman delivered mine - silly me!
a daisy-lupin friendship piece from Kai, a gorgeous vintage book all about Australia from Maryellen and a delightful package from Corey ! I felt blessed. thankyou, thankyou, thankyou.

I couldn't take a clear photo of the book - but it was printed in the 50's I am guessing & is full of pictures all about Australia - I cannot wait to have a long, slow browse. thankyou so much Maryellen, for being such a thoughtful soul xo

this is the daisy lupin friendship block from Kai! isn't it exquisite? thankyou dear Kai xo

and from dear Corey ~ a collection of vintage ephermera, bits n bobs! thankyou Corey, I cannot wait to use these bits. You are a gem xo

however - Corey's package had been opened by customs. And apparently she had made me a lovely card with flowers and leaves stuck on the front, with a handwritten message inside. This was confiscated by customs because of the plant matter. They were kind enough to photocopy the card both inside and out AND they are willing to treat it with gamma irradiation to kill any disease. ooh, I though, aren't they kind..... until I read the fine print:

The cost to me will be $42.50 ! !

hmmm - guess I won't get to see the real card.

so be warned anyone sending packages into Australia - we have very strict customs regulations.

Mother Earth art dollie

2006-11-08T08:40:00.000+11:00

yesterday, before I had even thought of the challenge, I made Gaia. To get my frustration out - infusing her with my healing energy & thoughts. She will sit on my altar with a candle burning each day - for Mother Earth to heal.

I made her in a similar fashion to a dollie that I received from Lisa (oceandreamer) and the wool around her neck was a gift from Colette. On her head, I stuck a gumnut stick, a pebble that I found on the beach and a piece of amethyst crystal

soap of the month

2006-11-08T08:08:00.000+11:00

my bathroom smells dee-lishus! I have just started to use my soap for this month from Peggy (I won a years supply of soap in an auction & I receive one cake of soap per mth for a year). the perfume is pomegranate & pear and if you haven't already bought soap from Peggy, I suggest that you start with this one.

A CHALLENGE ----> treat Mother EARTH with respect

2006-11-07T15:21:00.000+11:00

after my little environmental outburst, this morning - there was a lovely quote left as a comment, by Pretty Lady:

"I pledge allegiance to the Earth, and to the flora, fauna, and human life that it supports, one planet, indivisible. with safe air, water and soil, economic justice, equal rights and peace for all."

Women's Environment and Development Organization.

* which got me to thinking: how about an artistic challenge!

to make something in any media that you wish - a collage, a drawing, a quiltie, an art doll OR one of each ! ! - representing how you feel about our Mother EARTH. with all that creative energy going out, it will surely cause a shift in our thinking.

just a fun thing to do, no swap * post it on your blog when you have finished!

suggestions, please?

2006-11-07T07:39:00.000+11:00

if anyone out there in the big world of blogland, has any suggestions on how I can stop my constant worrying about global warming, our drought and lack of water here, the environment and humanity ~ please, please let me know.

Our Great Barrier reef is dying, according to one expert and there is nothing we can do about what is going to happen in the next 30 yrs or so - apparently the damage was done by our parents, in the 50's. Our media is bombarding us with Kyoto, the drought and the water summit, global warming & rising ocean temperatures.

I know that I can stop watching and listening and stick my head in the sand. I know that I can just worry about my little corner of the world in Woodford and forget the rest. I want to do that, yes I do! But then I feel selfish & guilty for not doing my bit.

Some have lights blazing, waste water but me? Oh, no - I run round like some kind of demented greenie turning off lights and watering with a watering can. I compost & recycle ! BUT does it help at all? I have been reading alot, on what we can do to help our planet but the little bit that we can do, seems to me, to be a futile attempt unless the big industries do their share. And the powers that be, begin to realize that this is serious business.

This worrying is beginning to affect my life - I feel such a lack of hope about the future of our planet.

monday musings

2006-11-06T07:18:00.000+11:00

Each state we encounter will succumb to the next. There is no way to avoid the transitions of our life. The chief means of entering them gracefully is to practice them mindfully over and over again. It is like learning to ride a horse: over and over again walking, trotting, cantering, over smooth and rough terrain, mounting and dismounting, starting and stopping, until it becomes possible for us to move through life in a graceful conscious way. In moving through the difficult stages of our lives, we can learn to trust our heart to these cycles and their unfolding as surely as we can trust roots to go down and leaves to push up through the earth in our garden We can trust each petal of a flower will open in the right order from outside to inside. We can trust that whatever calls our attention to practice ~ our body, our personal history, the community around us ~ it will bring to us what we need to live fully and genuinely in the timeless here and now.

Excerpted from A Path With Heart ~ Jack Kornfield

dumb idea

2006-11-06T06:26:00.000+11:00

well yesterdays post was a dumb idea - it's been deleted. I had many loonies wanting to chat - will I never learn?

Goddess gathering

2006-11-04T16:09:00.000+11:00

last night I went to a Goddess gathering, what fun! don't you think, it is amazing how sometimes, things are just meant to be? we think it is a co-incidence when things happen in a certain way - but I believe there is no such things as coincidences - it is synchronicity.

anyhow, 'bout last night ~ the goddess that we celebrated was Bast - the goddess who encourages us to have fun, to play, create, to nurture our inner child. hmm - now was that for me? of course! things must have been moved quickly in Heaven, as the co-ordinator only just decided the day before to make this a fun night, rather than a sacred ceremony as usual. and I wasn't going to go til the last minute.

the first part of the night we spent outside - playing games. Games from our childhood - like charades and pass the parcel. Then we had to close our eyes and dip our hands into a box - each of us received a magic faery ring that can grant us any emotion we wish - then we had to cast our own magic circle & fill it with whatever we wanted to - mine was a golden circle, with crystals all around and it was filled with pink bubbles. Once our circle was complete, we had to fill it with our desired emotions - mine was joy, happiness & spontaneity. Then we stepped into the circle and absorbed those emotions. we then had to take the circle and place it inside of us - to be used whenever we feel the need. what a great idea!

next we had sparklers and we drew our names and desires and we played as we did as children. we giggled incessantly as little girls do.

next, we went inside - for the actual ceremony and the room was decorated all pink and faery like, just like when we were little girls - and we got to share our thoughts. We were asked when was the last time we had fun and we talked about our childhood - digging deep to find our childhood fun times - oh it was so good for me. So healing. I remembered all my birthday parties, the family picnics, our Christmas celebrations and all the other fun things that my parents did with us. We cried. We talked about my doldrums the past week & I was stunned that most of the ladies there had similar experiences as children. It made me feel ok. It made me realize that yes, some sad times happened to me as a child but I was not the only one who had a 'difficult' childhood . It made me realize that there were more good than sad times and it made me realize it is ok to talk about them and hurt but not to hold onto them. so we did a clearing meditation.

then we played with playdough and got lolly bags!

I had such fun, such healing & I feel blessed that the Universe sent me this help so soon.

I feel that my sacral chakra is alot more in balance after last night. I feel wonderfully happy! do you ever think I may be manic depressive? I often wonder if I am, but not so says the Dr. Be easy on yourself she says.

my magic faery ring

faErY FridAy

2006-11-03T11:32:00.000+11:00

come join me each Friday - for faery tales & lore ~ you just never know what we will find
to open my faery fridays ~ a quote, ~ go and find a favourite faery tale, snuggle & nurture your inner child.

* Faerytales are a salve for the injuries reality has inflicted upon us *

WARNING - heavy going! True Balance - my sacral chakra

2006-11-03T07:00:00.000+11:00

the next chakra - my sacral - of course this is for the benefit of those who are travelling the true balance journey with me - these are my thoughts & feelings over the last two weeks & I dare say, if I did this book again, my thoughts could be totally different. My childhood was fun, I do have lots of great memories but True Balance asks questions and I answer them, honestly. getting out the dross and healing myself as I go. I only write what I am feeling in that present moment.

"oh boy - like I said my sacral chakra is way out of balance ~ at this moment in time. How long has it been unbalanced? I wonder. The chakra connected to the reproductive organs. Of which I don't have. When I first had my hysterectomy - I felt like a hollowed out pumpkin. I felt like half a gal. silly now that I look back - but I felt my femininity was being stolen. I know now, that a womb does not make one a woman. It is our true essence, our very being that makes us a gal. That, and being connected to the moon makes us a woman. well that is my theory . . . today - who knows what I will believe tomorrow.
our emotional well being, our senses; pleasure and sexuality - all connected to this chakra. It is the domain of our inner child and as my inner child is in constant need of nurturing - it is no wonder why this chakra is spinning OUT OF CONTROL. I don't let my inner child laugh with abandon or scream with fury - control, Robyn, control. I know that I am on a journey of self discovery and I wonder. . . is this journey, actually my sacral chakra trying to bring itself back into balance? I constantly live in my head, I have disconnected from my sensual self. I suppress ME most of the time, trying to please others or I act as I think I 'should', worrying constantly about being accepted. I do ignore what my body is telling me, like I have lost touch with it, until oneday I wake up and think, gawd, my neck is sore and stiff. Time for a massage
And just this past few weeks with my doldrums, I am wondering if my sacral chakra is saying, enough is enough. You gotta laugh! have fun! PLAY!
Most of my life, the majority of it actually ~ I have looked upon life, as something to be ' gotten through', something to be endured. It was like I had a sense that there were many trials to be faced. When I am in an emotional storm, I go into 'fix it' mode - where I do absolutely anything to fix the problem so that I don't have to face the emotional pain of the situation. It is something I did as a child and it seems I have bought it into my adult life. I have always put others before myself, even as a child. I can remember hugging my mother telling her it was going to ok. I was 4. I believe, I need to be looking at my childhood stuff & deal with it once and for all. I want to do that - so out into the Universe goes a request to send the right person to me to help me.
This whole post of course makes me sound like someone who doesn't show feelings - not so. I cry and laugh but like I have said this past week - it is like I have lost my 'joie de vivre' .
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH - STOP! it is time for this gal to have fun, to play, to enjoy."

I have actually started to have a massage every two weeks so at least that is a start.

I just need to stop chattering when I am being massaged and allow myself to be pampered.

Gemstones: Carnelian, Coral, Gold Calcite, Moonstone, Orange Jasper
Herbs: clover, rosemary, violet, mint, cinnamon, daisy,
Essential Oils: Cardamon, Clary Sage, Neroli, Fennel, Sandalwood

taking care of business

2006-11-01T16:35:00.000+11:00

so much to catch up on since the black cloud descended but thankfully it seems to be shifting. I was worried there for awhile that it would be here forever. I didn't seem to be able to move it along. Firstly, I want to thank each of you for your loving support, e-cards, emails and comments. I felt I was wrapped in a snuggly cocoon. I am blessed.
so being super sleuth, I hunted down an online support group for survivors of women's cancer - it is called Women Conquering Cancer & I began to feel that I was ok. I wasn't wrong in feeling the way I was - you see sometimes I feel very guilty when I complain about my cancer as I know there are many worse of than me. But these gals, told me to own my feelings - to take a dip in the pity pool (that is what they call it), sometimes we need to do this. I also have linked with a few Australian girls which is good. So my 'cancer head' has moved on again thank God.

yesterday, I was outside and a tiny baby honey-eater was trapped on my verandah. I gently caught it with a plastic rake and it sat on the prongs, just getting its breath - then it started to sing & chirp. I was entranced. I put it into one of my camellia bushes to get its breath back and to recover from the stress and it eventually flew off. When it was sitting on the rake, I had a thought that it could be a faery ! being sent to me to heal me. And I was. what do you think?

Then I had packages that had been delivered during the last few weeks - and they were waiting patiently for me to unpack. I cannot believe that I had lost interest. But it was like Christmas!
I received my ebay win from Colette cecibeau and she had included a package of wonderful ephemera. Thankyou sweet girl - you are one of life's treasures, you really are.

I have also received two of my 6 X 6 blocks from my daisy-lupin friendship piece - one from Daisy herself - along with a podling! I was so excited and she also sent me a kitchen angel block * the other was from Lottie - a gorgeous block. I do have photos but blogger is under a dark cloud today, guess because Mercury is in damn retrograde.

I also received my order from Peggy & Ms*diva - I ordered alot of soap in Christmas fragrances - to place in a basket at my door to give out during the yule season. Peggy had packaged each soap up into little brown packages - to go with my daily parcels theme. Peggy - I love that! I also received my soap of the month from her - a pomegranate fragrance. go and see Peggy at her etsy shop - the link is on my sidebar.
I also have a dilemma: to beta-blogger or not to beta-blogger? that is the question (that I keep asking myself) - I have noticed some of you have switched to the beta system. But I have also noticed that it has many bugs. One is that some of us can't comment if we switch. what to do? I don't know.

I have finished my sacral chakra chapter - it was a difficult one to do - but it was really healing & cleansing for me -which is a good thing. Tomorrow I will post my thoughts so beware - it is not for everyone.

I am also trying to visit you all - I promise I will get there over the next few days - I have so many to catch up on.

blessings, bliss & Beltane blossoms xo

my Beltane art

2006-11-01T16:31:00.000+11:00

this is the first thing I have created since the dark cloud that is my sacral chakra journey descended upon me - this is for Beltane and I have put it into my Book of Shadows.

Beltane blessings

2006-11-01T07:28:00.000+11:00

"May the fire of Bel be kindled in your heart in this time of fertility & growth"

so down here, because our seasons are opposite to my friends in the northern hemisphere - it means that our sabbats are also opposite - today is Beltane for me.

the fair maid who on Beltane day goes to the fields at break of day and washes in dew from the hawthorn tree will ever after handsome be

I had planned on getting up really early to wash my face in the early morning dew but seeing as there is no dew at this time of year nor a hawthorn to be found I decided that my trilogy toner & cream will have to do the job and considering I am not really a maiden then the dew would have a hard time working. Bring on botox! (jus' kidding)

I also am going to tie coloured ribbons in my apple tree - I will wait til the family have gone though, as I am sure they will have me commited if they see me dancing round the apple tree chanting - but with each ribbon that I tie on the tree, I can make a wish ~ sounds good to me.

I have my meals planned around tradtional Beltane food ~ oatmeal for breakfast with strawberries & red clover tea - cheese and bread for lunch & for dinner: I will make a zucchini slice, oatcakes and brie and marigold custard and vanilla icecream for dessert. All washed down with a chilled glass of white - to toast the glory of spring.

after dinner * a little ritual in my sacred space - candles and brushing away of negative energies - all ending up with an offering to the fay.

(thanks to daisy lupin for her help in my Beltane ceremonies)

halloween ~ here in my little corner of the world, Down Under

2006-10-31T19:35:00.000+11:00

sadly, we don't celebrate Halloween as such. Oh we might get the odd child knocking on our door in the hope of getting some lollies - but it isn't embraced here like it is in America.

But I feel the need to do something, of course I do! October 31 can be celebrated by me as the day of the dead - so I have set myself an altar up in my lounge room with photos of my grandparents and my dad, a gorgeous bunch of roses from my own garden and all night I am burning a yellow candle - in the hope that they may visit me in my dreams. I am also having a little ritual tonight, outside in the dark with candle light. I am going to write to each deceased loved one - a love letter - telling them that I miss them or in the case of my great grandmas - that I wish I had known them in this lifetime & I hope that they will guide me on my spiritual journey. And I may even ask them to make themselves known to me in my daily life.

I have candles burning all around my home and yard - and for dinner - homemade pumpkin soup (made from one of my own pumpkins), sour cream & chives and pumpkin bread

happy halloween everyone!

the stuff from True Balance

2006-10-30T08:19:00.000+11:00

my cancer was in my sacral area - in my reproductive organs. I had pelvic radiation ~ something I believe is from the dark ages and is barbaric & now I have side effects. The emotional issues from this are coming up now & I am having a dreadfully hard time dealing with them. do I continue with the book, knowing that it is helping ? Or do I stop and push those emotions deeper down, ignoring them? I honestly don't know. All I know is I feel like a bitter old woman right now ~ blaming life for my problems AND that is definately not me, not who I am. I wasn't going to post all of this but it helps to get it out & I thought maybe, just maybe there is someone out there who has had pelvic radiation who can relate to how I am feeling. I am embarrassed by my side effects, they are not something that I want to put out into blog world. There are no support groups here either.

and this dear friends is really why I haven't been blogging - I feel like I have lost my 'joie de vivre'

I feel like I am constantly apologizing for not visiting your blogs, I feel like it is a one way friendship at the moment. I am deeply sorry xox

whoa!

2006-10-27T18:56:00.000+10:00

oh man - true balance - This sacral chakra stuff is heavy going for me but I am plodding through - I know I am clearing lots and healing lots - so that is why I am persevering but it is surely bringing up stuff that I thought I had dealt with. my sacral chakra is really out of balance. Here I am thinking I am completely normal (ha!) NOT. I wonder if I will ever be normal? hmm I wonder what normal is and do I want to be normal?
Sophie is at last smiling and laughing - I have stepped back as I have realized this is her journey and I can still be here for her to cuddle but not to take on her pain. A hard lesson for me. Today, I did a collage for Beltane & made some beltane wreaths for my girl friends and then I went and bought myself a huge bunch of sunflowers - inspired by a bunch that Naturegirl sent me via email. I am spending most of the weekend in my garden - wanting to make myself a sacred circle. And I am going to ease into blogging - hopefully I will get to visit over the weekend - blessings, bliss & blossoms xo

healing

2006-10-25T07:21:00.000+10:00

yesterday was an amazing day for us. I drove Sophie to school and when I got out of the car I found a white feather *a gift from the angels, I am sure, telling me they are with us and all will be ok. I know this is my heart. Then I came home and a friend called and asked me to go and have a cup of tea with her. So I did - she is a reiki master and did a healing on me - which was good as it was revealed that I have past hurts that are coming up as I grieve with Sophie. So my friend did an intense healing on my heart and gave me some heart oil which is infused with essential oils, colour therapies & essences from the angels. I am to anoint my heart chakra with it twice daily. I tell you, it has worked. The heart break hurt has gone. I am also anointing Sophie with it and it seems to be helping her. I am also giving her flower remedies to help with grief. My reiki teacher did a reiki healing on Sophie yesterday afternoon. All these things are helping our souls to heal themselves. Plus all those prayers & healing, that you, my friends are sending us - is helping - we can feel each and every one.

I did get to visit a few blogs and commented on a couple - some blogs I haven't been able to access, not sure why but Pea if you are reading this - I have tried so hard to come by and comment but my computer freezes each time I try. I will keep trying, maybe it is blogger.
oh and Joe had his appointment on Monday - the specialist is confident all is ok but wants to do a colonoscopy in November (lucky joe!) - I am not worried, I am sure all is ok

feeling better last night, I played with Violettes long necked lady. It was fun & soothing. sometimes, I think I need to mindless stuff - like colouring in

over the edge

2006-10-24T06:12:00.000+10:00

I think this situation with Sophie and the boyfriend was the straw that has broken the camels back. I think it has tipped me over the edge. I am not coping. Not coping at all. I am trying but it is not working. I know this is not about me - but in a way it is. I am taking her pain on, to the point of my heart feels that it has been broken. I have a terrible ache in the middle of my breast bone and I feel a heavy sadness that I can't shake. I have two packages here that I received yesterday that I have no interest in opening. My garden hasn't been looked at all week. I can't even blog. I have lost interest in my home and for those who know me well - that is a big sign that something is wrong. I am not functioning. I walk past Sophie and see her sad and ask how she is then I feel her pain. Physically. I know it is advisable to shut my chakras down but I can't. I physically can't. Not that I don't want to, I just cannot do it, it doesn't happen. I have lost touch with my angels. I am a reiki master - you can use reiki to heal yourself. Right now, I am incapable of healing myself, or anyone else for that matter. I feel like crying all the time. I need help. Not pills & chemicals but spiritual help. Healing help. So today, I am finding someone.

I am going to have to cancel all the Christmas swaps - I just don't have the interest to organize them right now. I am also taking a break from posting here - not can't even say for how long - I am not even sure if I will get to visit any of my friends blogs. I feel so bad - I don't want to fall out of the loop, to fall away from the great circle of friends here. I am scared. I am also 48 and feel like an absolute idiot for not being able to cope with this. For heaven's sakes - this is but a hiccough - compared to other things that have happended in my life.

TRUE BALANCE ~ warning! ~ my base chakra stuff

2006-10-23T06:03:00.000+10:00

oh lord! my base chakra is definately unbalanced or not spinning as it should. And it is no wonder that it is totally out of whack, - I do alot of work on my chakras - but I didn't realize that my childhood stuff was connected to this chakra. I need to work on that.
I could go into major detail here, but I won't. It is too hard for me. And like I said, I don't want my blog to become a Mummy dearest because in the main, my childhood was wonderful. We had great family picnics & all the other normal family stuff.

and I wouldn't change a thing, as it has all made me who I am today.
But let's just say - that as a little girl, I had a great fear of being alone, being abandoned. My family foundation wasn't strong. Don't get me wrong - as I said, my childhood was mostly wonderful and so were my parents - they did the best they knew how. But they use to leave us alone, often. at night. I can remember from about age 10 - I would sit out on the front step and cry til they came home. To this day, I do not know what I was afraid of - but as soon as it got dark - I would have to go outside. Past life stuff? who knows.
My dad also drank alot and in my early childhood he was very violent - not towards us kids, but to mum. In his later life he became a tea-totaller and was so sad for what he put us through when we were young.
I also found out that the base chakra governs the immune system and that has made me wonder if my immune system was depleted due to the chakra being unbalanced - my cancer was an immune deficient cancer. If you worry alot about life - your base chakra becomes unbalanced. And I wonder if my strong desire to find 'my roots' of my ancestors is because my base chakra is unbalanced. Lots of thoughts - I write all in my journal, kind of purging my soul.
However blogging has helped me to become alot more grounded & balanced and I think I am finally getting the base chakra to how it is meant to be.
Sometimes if I feel unbalanced - then I go outside and plunge my hands into the dirt or othertimes I just carry a grounding stone around with me. Even wearing a pair of red undies can help! And I am going to start having a pedicure and have my toe nails painted red!
crystals, herbs and essential oils that correspond to the base chakra can help to balance as well :
Gemstones: Agate, Bloodstone, Hematite, Red Coral, Red Garnet, Ruby, Black Obsidian, Black Tourmaline and Black Tourmaline in Clear Quartz
Herbs: Cedar, Clove, Pepper, Vetiver
Essential Oils: Myrrh, Patchouli, Rosewood, Thyme, Vetiver

gratitude on Sunday

2006-10-22T18:10:00.000+10:00

each of YOU - I am grateful for. The emails, the support, the love & care and the spells! I am grateful that I am able to call each of you my friend. even though we have never met - I feel a heart connection with each of you. It is like you understand my very soul. thankyou, I am humbled

[ so this weekend, we have done alot of talking, crying & snuggling. We have been doing spells & saging & journalling - Sophie seems stronger - we have had a wonderful network of huggers. I have collaged and hopefully later today, I will take a photo to share the collage with you]

{tomorrow - beware, I unveil my base chakra post}

one year has passed

2006-10-22T17:42:00.000+10:00

it is one year since my gorgeous daughter got married ! one whole year has passed since the wedding! geez, blink and you miss a year.

Happy anniversary - Louisa & Garth

taking time out

2006-10-20T06:44:00.000+10:00

lord what is happening right now? Does anyone else feel an oppresive heaviness in the world? Or is it just me and what is going on with Sophie? Seems we have got to the bottom of the problem with my gal - and the idiot she has been 'in love' with for 2 years. He has apparently been seeing other girls as well as being a steady boyfriend to Sophie. It has been a regular thing, not just one of. Now in my book - being faithfull is pretty damn important, even when you are only 17 - if you want to play the field, then play it, but you cannot have your cake and eat it too. The reason she said nothing about it to me or did nothing about it? She thought she wouldn't get anyone else. Can you believe that? Have I failed? I was certainly taken in by this jerk - he had me eating from the palm of my hand. I am absolutely exhausted right now. We need to rebuild - so I am taking a few days away from blogging - I was going to try to blog through it but all that happens is that I feel 'guilty' when I don't visit your blogs & comment (yes, there is THAT guilt word again) - so I am running away - just for the weekend - I am running to my life - to garden, to clean & smudge my house, to rid our selves of all the crap. We are going to go through Sophie's stuff and smash and rip all the things that remind her of 'the jerk' . we are going to do spells and cleansing rituals. we are going to eat icecream and cry. We are going to say nasty things about the jerk and make ourselves laugh. and we are going to heal.

love you all lots xoxo

ps thankyou to each of you for your friendship, your emails and your support xo ~ what would I do without my gal pals?

miss*R ~ angel intuitive

2006-10-19T06:42:00.000+10:00

so today is Thursday and this is another kind of down in the doldrums post - hope it will be my last. Yesterday, I had to have another trip to the dentist as a filling on the other side of my mouth fell out - another hour in the chair with my mouth open and two needles did not make me a happy gal. I am finding life very draining this week, I can't create a thing and I cannot find the strength to pull myself out of it. so much for my angel intuitiveness. I am beginning to think that God dumps us here and says - 'see you in a lifetime - try your hardest, you are on your OWN!' I do hope I am wrong.

so :

yes, I am now a certified angel intuitive - Doreen Virute accredited. I now have letters after my name and a certificate to prove it. woopee doo.
How do I post about this without sounding ungrateful or negative? I hope I can - so here goes.
I am glad that I went - I want to eventually hold angel & faery worshops here at my home and with the Doreen Virtue name after it - I am sure I will be successful. I want to bring angels and faeries to lots of people, to help them find that they do indeed have help in other realms - it is all there for the asking. So now I can officially do that. without any expensive cost to anyone. that to me is what it is all about.
The place where I stayed was wonderful - BUT I feel that there were just way too many people at the workshop. 800 people is alot. 3 days with 800 people does not do my aura alot of good, nor does it do my chakras alot of good. I did learn quite abit and I did get a message from my angels to 'take what I need' from the course. At times, like I said I thought I was caught up in a religious cult - we had to stand and sing & clap our hands and yell out affirmations - which does not sit well with me at all. But I did it and just rolled my eyes to myself. I chuckled to myself. I am sure that Doreen Virtue is sincere but she is surrounded by minders and there is alot of hype and it is all very commercial. Quite often during the course - she would do advertising for her CD's and books. which annoyed the hell out of me. There were noi notes given out, we were told that the information is in such & such a book and it is available at the book store.

I even lined up to have a book signed and she didn't even look at me - she was talking to one of her minders and just signed her name without looking at me or the book. Left a bad taste in my mouth.
so that is it in a nutshell - I am sad to say.

just today

2006-10-18T06:38:00.000+10:00

first of all - thanks for the support - I just don't know what I would do without all the words of wisdom from each of you. Right now, I just feel like kicking this boy in the shins, really hard. But of course I won't. I have written it all in my angel book and have handed it over to them. So mote it be.

I am a very brave girl - I had my first crown put on my teeth yesterday and I didn't cry!

Today I am playing catchup - I have so much washing to do & blogs to catch up on. since I have been away & snuggling with Sophie I haven't done either - so bare with me, I will get by to see what my friends have been up to. I am also wording my post on the Doreen Virutue weekend - may post that tomorrow. And I have decided that I am going to call Friday - Faery Friday. Each Friday, I will post something about faery folk ~ join in if you wish!

Oh and today, I need to go to our food co-op to buy my first lot of dried fruit for my Christmas cake - I soak it for a week in brandy. I may just drink the brandy instead. It is some ridiculously small amount of time til Christmas.

Thinking positive thoughts today !

the hurts of life

2006-10-17T11:50:00.000+10:00

my gorgeous daughter, Sophie is 17 and has had a boyfriend for just under two years. I feel in my heart that they are twin flames and are meant to be together. He is a lovely boy but they are 'having a break' at the moment. She is heartbroken - adolescent love is one of the hardest things to deal with. It isn't puppy love - it is real. He tells her he still loves her but now there is another girl who is pursuing him with all her feminine wiles. My daughter's heart is breaking.

Her mother's heart is breaking also - I don't know what to do - we have done rituals and ceremonies. We are snuggling and I tell her how silly boys can be sometimes. And that she has to be strong. I have asked the angels and faeries but I know in the end - it is all in the lap of the Gods and what will be, will be. I know she is young and we all go through things like this but I want to stop her hurt, to make it all better, to take her pain way - to tell her it is going to be ok.

I know that all this is a learning journey and things like this make us who we will be tomorrow. I know that there is always something better in the future. But knowing this does not make it any easier - it does not take our pain away.

If anyone has any suggestions or rituals or spells that we can do - to make it a little easier - please tell us - and I ask each of you to just keep us in your thoughts and prayers.